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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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PurpleMoon Offline
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Angry It's Just Getting Silly - October 8th 2012, 03:01 PM

I think in pretty much done with my friend. I don't want let her go but she's just being to much of a hassle. She spends all her time with her boyfriend and then basically makes me feel like I don't make an effort which I do. I'm tired of her saying she has no friends when she doesn't try.

I'm pretty much done trying to deal with her she has been and awful friend re last couple of months and today had just taken it for me. I was going to the cinemas with one of my friends this weekend and we didn't see the film as it's on late and she has school. She asked me of I wanted to go out and I told her basically that and she said 'Why didn't you see it today or last weekend?' I don't feel like she has the right to tell me when I see a film. You can say I'm over reacting bit it's just annoying me I told her the days I can do which would be Wednesday, Friday and Sunday next week and she just basically told me what days I can do 'well you probably won't want to go out on Sunday.... Why arenít you at college in Friday' it's like for god sake just fucking tell me a day you can do!!



Iím donít want to be picked up and used when she is bored. How is that fair!! Iím so angry and frustrated. She also complains that none of her friends go out with her anymore. Well Iím sorry they have lives and donít drop everything to see you. I have tried on many occasions I have spoken to her and nothing ever changes.

Its just petty and hard. She has been my friend for a long time and she has helped me in many different situations and I love her to pieces but we have both started to grow up in different ways. Donít get me wrong when we hang out itís a laugh and I want her to be my friend but I donít think I could ever call her my best friend again. She was the last person I thought would change when she had a boyfriend but she has started to turn into him and Iím not a big fan of himÖ

Friend situation suck!
 


One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.


Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


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Re: It's Just Getting Silly - October 8th 2012, 07:33 PM

A lot of people with draw from their friends when they have a boyfriend. They act like all they need is him. It's not necessarily an attractive quality in a friend and it is not necessarily healthy for the friend either depending on what stage of their life they are in. For most people it's a phase and you can't really stop it from happening.

That aside, things like her asking why you didn't just go do something on a different day may not of her being, essentially, ignorant to the fact that you (unlike her, according to you) have a "life" whatever that means, she may simply have been wondering why you didn't select another day, especially since, unless she's stalking you, she wouldn't necessarily know what days your having so much more of a "life" than her falls on.

So what I am trying to say is that maybe you are giving her an unnecessarily hard time. I know a lot of people to have this really horrible tendency to try to make plans last minute, and, sure, some of them appear to have no respect for your time, but other people may have just been like "oh, look at this free time" and then have thought of you and it doesn't necessarily occur to them that you might find it . I can kind of relate. I am SO busy (even though my classes RARELY fall on Fridays, which I will get back to soon) so I get kind of annoyed when people text me/call me like super last minute and are like "oh, wanna hang out?". And it's like yeah, cause through talking you couldn't POSSIBLY have noticed how damn busy I am, so WHY would I just magically be free 5 seconds before someone wants to see me? Like shit... But any ways... You should just tell her that if she wants to hang out she needs to make an effort to make plans ahead of time since you usually have all your time worked out ahead so it's a bit of a pain for you to have to reschedule. That's what I've had to do with some of my friends who can't seem to figure out that it's rare for me to just be doing nothing. This isn't necessarily easy for someone who is disorganized and doesn't bother making plans a week or 2 ahead for stuff beyond the "necessaries" (like when classes or work is).

And back to friday classes, well, unless she HAS school on Friday and just isn' going then that's not really her fault. If it is anything like what I have to deal with in my school I have usually have 3-4 hours of class which is split up into 1 or 2 chunks of time, and its not that rare that a class is split into 3 (thus it'll occur Mon/Weds/Fri)... So just because her program works out to being a 4 day week, which isn't her being "lazy" or having "less of a life than you" or something.

But any ways, just try doing things I suggested like telling her to be more considerate of your time. You don't need to be super confrontational about it either, you can easily just be like "ya know, it would be easier to hang out if you make plans a week or so ahead before I've planned out my week" and you should realize that goes both ways, like you should start making plans occasionally ahead so that she sees what you expect (lead by example?). You can easily deal with things that bother you about a person in that manner without making it a giant fight. I mean, your other option is to give up on the friendship, but it couldn't hurt to let her see what bothers you about her behaviour before you give up.




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Re: It's Just Getting Silly - October 8th 2012, 08:33 PM

I have spoken to her and she has made no effort to change so of course I am annoyed with her. She picks me up and talk to me when she is bored because she will talk to me during they days when she is at school and not with her boyfriend.

Ok yeah she might be wondering why I didn’t see it on that day or before but she never used to be that focused on why I didn’t do something until now.

She has changed a lot since she has had a boyfriend. Ok yeah I don’t know what its like to be in love but it’s a pain when she spent the last say 6 months ignoring her friends when she has had a boyfriend and then complains that she has no friends.

Its hard to explain. But thanks


One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.


Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


ďMan cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.Ē -Andre Gide
   
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