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Shawshaw Offline
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Unhappy Needing advice - October 12th 2012, 05:22 PM

Hi, I need some advice before I do something that could change my life forever. My family can't stop arguing, no ones ever really happy. I feel alone and I cry alot, my mom and dad fight like little kids. I get so upset and nervous my stomach hurts, I barely have a appetite from all the stress. I want to talk about it but I'm just so nervous. I hide my emotions and I know it's bad to do that but theirs no one to talk to because they'll just get mad at me and yell, it will just make matters worse. One day I told my sister I wanted to leave and my mom and her got into an argument and my sister said that I wanted to leave and I never heard the end of it. My mom says all the time that one day we will all see because she's going to move in with mamaw. I stay in my room and play basket ball most of the day to not hear the arguing. I love my family and everything but my nerves can't take it. Should I leave? Would you? What would you do if your heart was torn like mine. I just really want to be happy, don't even bother mentioning counseling because they'll act like everything is fine and we will go home and continue back to our old ways, I just know my family to well.
I've been praying on what I should do but I just dont know. I have lots of family that would take me the thing is should I leave. I'm just 15 and I know I could weasel my way out it's just should I. I REALLY WANT TO BE HAPPY.
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Re: Needing advice - October 12th 2012, 07:30 PM

If there's a family member you can stay with, who would be able to provide you with everything you need (ex. food, clothing, shelter, transportation to/from school, medical assistance), then that's certainly something you could consider. The problem is whether or not your parents would let you leave... and it doesn't seem like they're the types who would willingly say, "Oh yeah, sure, you can live with So-and-So. We've been such horrible parents because of all this fighting, so really, this would probably be best for you!" Legally, you can't live with a family member if your parents say "no." They could contact the police and have you forcibly brought back home. Your family member could also get in trouble, if they knowingly harbored a "runaway."

I went through a very stressful experience when I was around your age. The courts said I had to live with my mom, and because she was ONLY verbally/emotionally abusive, I couldn't prove there was abuse. Due to lack of evidence, I had no choice but to stay with her until I turned 18 and could legally move out. As a result, I was forced to look for coping techniques, in order to manage my anxiety/stress. You may need to do the same thing. Basketball sounds like a good distraction, but I'm sure you can come up with a few more things as well, which will help take the edge off your anxiety/stress. How about headphones to drown out the shouting? Exploring activities that allow you to express yourself emotionally, like writing/drawing/dancing? Breathing exercises to manage the physical symptoms of anxiety/stress? Going for walks around the neighborhood to get away for a bit? Visiting a family member's/friend's house? Joining a club/sport so you have excuses for not being around? Preparing to earn your driver's license, so you can drive a few miles away from home? Looking for a part-time job (once you're old enough to have a job), so you can 1) pay for the car/gas you would need, and 2) have another excuse to be away from home? The list is endless, really. =) Unfortunately, we can't always fix bad situations, because we don't really have any control over those situations. When that happens, all we can do is work on managing the anxiety/stress that results from those bad situations.

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