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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Always * Offline
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My birthday... with no one... - October 14th 2012, 02:36 PM

Ok, so I guess people like my mom care that my birthday is coming up. But since I started university 4 years ago no one has really cared about my birthday EXCEPT 2 years ago when a friend got me cupcakes. One of my friends was so horrified that no one ever did anything for my birthday, and she's all "oh we'll do something this weekend to celebrate". And up till now I had sorta given up hoping anyone would do anything for me. And to be honest, I wasn't really bothered by it, I mean, what ever right, mostly just acknowledging my birthday is good enough for me. But my friend got my hopes up and we'd talked about doing something today... And then she bailed... She just said she can't when I tried to confirm it yesterday, and I don't even know why... And to be honest, I am a bit upset by that. I mean, she'd made this big thing of it over how "omg someone's gotta do something for you" and apparently she didn't care enough to ensure any follow through?
It just makes me feel really alone, I literally have so few people who I can rely on where I live right now. Actually, make that no one. I got into a car accident at one point and I had no one to call. But there is a friend or 2 I could call in certain situations. It wasn't much better in my hometown, but at least there I had family. I don't have so much as a distant aunt who smells like mothballs here, and I don't even have a boyfriend I can count on. I don't like asking for help or anything, but that's still no excuse... And ya know, I do JUST fine being alone, I'm not 5, I CAN function without having people around 24/7... I dunno, I don't even know if this is making any sense.




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Re: My birthday... with no one... - October 15th 2012, 04:53 AM

It sounds to me that you just really needed to get this off your chest. I hope it made you feel a little better.
I'm sorry to hear that your friend bailed on you. You don't sound very close with her at all, if she couldn't even give you a reason. You deserved to know a reason.
By the way, happy belated birthday.
Don't worry. You will make friends. I'm not sure how you are around new people, but sometimes you just gotta break out, and be like. Hey you wanna be friends? Or something along those lines.
But definitely if a friend is not showing that they can be trustworthy, or even reliable, then you do not deserve that. They are not being a true friend.

I hope you can make some great friends soon, and I hope you have a wonderful birthday next year.


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Re: My birthday... with no one... - October 15th 2012, 04:23 PM

I had a weirdly similar experience on my birthday this year. I moved states for university and only had one (kind of) friend here and no family. My friend bought me cupcakes (weird right? so similar haha) but I only saw her for like 20 minutes between class. My mum didn't get me a present, and the only presents I got were from my grandma and my sister who both mailed me $50 each, but someone opened my mail, took out the money and put the cards back in the letterbox if you can believe it!

So basically I talked to one person I knew for 20 minutes and my only present were 3 cupcakes, I didn't see my family and someone robbed me. LOL.

Sorry I didn't mean to turn this into something about me, I guess I'm just saying it because I know what you're going through, I'm in the same boat with regards to having people I can call/talk too. You're not alone! It sucks, I'm with you.


To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget

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Re: My birthday... with no one... - October 17th 2012, 12:56 AM

It's not so much that she's not a good friend... It's more like I some times feel like it's all one sided? Like I'm always there when she needs it... But she's never there when I need it? And on some level that MIGHT be my fault, like I don't like letting people do stuff for me, I don't like asking for help, I like doing my own thing to the extreme, but it's like I would have been less pissed off if she would have AT LEAST given an explanation. And then she's all "lets for for lunch"... Then slept in and it's like oh thanks for caring :s, and i think she's trying to make it up to me, but something like a week after the fact doesn't make up for the fact that she was the ONE person who had claimed to want to do more but just couldn't be bothered to set a god damn alarm?... But yet, even though I've been here for years I don't expect better? It's not like I'm all unhappy about it. Like I said, I do things for myself, I've learned have to, if I relied on other people I'd get no where. And I'm happy like that... I get frustrated when people pull bull shit like this on me... And I'm never going to bother calling her on it, I mean, really, what will I gain from that?




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