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Question I have Some Questions about my dad - October 24th 2012, 09:59 PM

i am a big guy not fat but football player like. When I was younger i was picked on because I had a high pitched voice and could talk in complete sentences. I told my parents and they talk to the principal who almost made them stop. But it kept going so i wanted to kill myself. When my dad found out he beat me in my legs and said I was gay. fastforward to July. I came back from a pre-college program (because as my names goes I am smart so much so that I may get in to MIT). We bought a new house and my dada did not want to pay for fixing the basement. Me and him were fixing the base ment and my measurement was off by 1 in. He scream at me called me worthless said i was going to kill someone. this went on all night long. My mom hurt her self by cutting her foot on a saw I mainly helped her but getting peroxide and cleaning the wound. I called my dad and we took her to urgent care. While she was in the back he kept going on and on and on. I really wanted to kill my self. I was crying in the car and my mom comforted me. i had to get my friends to help me in my time of need. he then called me to talk to me and he kept going and i kept crying then he said "you need to stop crying, are you a man or a woman?" my mom came down and stopped him. Fastforward to today! I was told not to go to far away. i need to help my friend so i took him in to the main part of the city of Detroit. then I was on my way back when my car was not acting right. Someone (thank god) was nice enough to help me move my car to a small lot and tried to jump it for me. It did not jump. So i called him and called him and called him he did not answer. I called his friend who said that they were on their way. then I called my mom who was with him and (because i lied to her saying im going to the library i be right back) was upset he heard this and kept going off. His friend beat him to his own son and was trying to help him. When My dad got there he jumped out of the car and was screaming for me to walk down the street with him. and i did he threaten to beat me up in the middle of the street and said i need to go home before things get worse. Then he punched my in my arm and screamed go now before i beat your ass. So i went with my mom. His friends were telling him to stop and that all of that was not nesscary. he callled me and embarrassment. According to my mom he claimed that he was saying that i was getting high off of dope and she wanted to know why i lied. She is right I have bad group of friends... so now my car wont start i going to be beraided all night and for two or three days. Also this is the same man who spent $3000 on a truck that DOES NOT RUN and allowed his friend to drop his wife's truck and did not have the balls enough to tell the man that this piece of crap of a mini van (that was making noise and the truck would not open) was not good enough for his family to go down to Indiana for three days.. By the way if you are concerned don't worry about me I WILL NOT COMMIT SUCIDE I PROMISE I WILL TRY TO RESPOND TO THIS POST EVERYTIME I CAN. Thanks and my questions are 1) Why does my dad hate me so much? 2) Why does he want to physically and verbally abuse me? 3) Why does he treat me so? Every time we talk its always come back to something I did wrong. Lets me not forget that he does give me material things I want or need but never I love you or I;m proud of you or anything! all i get was you made this mistake and this and that and your less than a man. after a couple of days he forgets that anything happend while im stuck with the memory of what happend and me and my mom working around my dad to keep me in 1st at my school and my grades up. Thanks for reading and letting me vent
   
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Re: I have Some Questions about my dad - October 25th 2012, 01:58 AM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

Why does anyone abuse a fellow human being? Generally, the abusive individual wants to have control. Maybe they feel better about themselves when they can control others. Maybe they're afraid of being "weak," so being controlling and abusive (in their mind) allows them to be "strong." Maybe they've been hurt in the past by another abusive individual, so by being abusive toward others, they are "striking first," hurting other people before they themselves can be hurt. Things like substance use and stressors can certainly play a role in abusive behavior.

Unfortunately, none of us can read your father's mind, so we can't tell you what's going through his head when he abuses you. What we CAN help you with is learning how to cope with the abuse, allowing you to ultimately achieve your goals (ex. getting into a good university) and escape the abusive situation. How much longer will you need to live with your dad before you can legally move out? Have you begun to create a financial plan, so that you can still go to a good university if your father decides to cut off financial support? Do you have a safety plan, in case your father beats you again (if not, would you consider creating one, which may include calling 9-1-1 and reporting your father for child abuse)?

I am so sorry to hear about everything that's going on. Please know that you are not alone in your struggles. Many of TeenHelp's members have dealt with abusive situations, whether it was physical/emotional or both. Feel free to keep us updated on your situation! I'm glad that you're not at a point where you would seriously contemplate suicide, because that's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You CAN get through this ordeal!






   
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