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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
entangledmind Offline
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ultimately no one cares - November 1st 2012, 07:27 AM

This may be some time consuming, pointless thread so I apologize in advance if I waste your time...
I have this weird way of thinking that no one cares about me ultimately. I know mentally that isn't true, but I can't help believe in my heart that in the end I'll be left by all my friends and family.
I've shared this with one or two friends and all of them have said basically the same thing, "We'll always be there for you!"
Thing is, my two brothers and sister left when I was seven to live with their moms. (My dad was divorced twice before he married my mom)
And if my own flesh and blood leave me, what stops me from thinking that my friends won't?
They have absolutely no commitment to me. There's no obligation for them to stay or care.
I've become so scared of people leaving me that I'm beginning to distance myself so it won't hurt so bad if they leave. I don't know.

I tell people i'm
tired. But in reality

i'm just sad.


Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
For your sake, I'll be okay.
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Re: ultimately no one cares - November 1st 2012, 09:18 AM

Okay, so there isn't much back story to go off, but I'm sure your siblings didn't leave because of you, it was more likely that they preferred to live with their mothers. Also, distancing yourself from your friends WILL NOT HELP! Your friends are there to love you, to be there for you... Don't push them away. PM me if you ever need any help

“Go where you are celebrated – not tolerated. If they can’t see the real value of you, it’s time for a new start.”

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Chris Offline
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Re: ultimately no one cares - November 1st 2012, 07:21 PM

Well I can see why you have that sense of abandonment going on. And I can raise my hand and say that I've also felt that no one cares about me, and that I would be alone. And I shared my concerns with people I love and they said the same thing that your friends told you; and I didn't believe them. But then I stop trying to predict the future. I stopped letting what may or may not happen in the future effect my today. I learned that if you don't live today, then you certainly wont have a good tomorrow. So while I think me and you (and alot of others) have these concerns, we should put them to the side and try to live for today. Spend time with friends. Have a good time at school. Laugh alittle to much, and take things for what they are. Thats what will get you through the days, and eventually you'll start to realize that you wont be alone, and they wont leave you, because no one goes through all those ups and downs with eachother and than decides to leave. They (friends and family) love and care about you; you just have to realize it.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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Re: ultimately no one cares - November 1st 2012, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by Chris.
But then I stop trying to predict the future. I stopped letting what may or may not happen in the future effect my today. I learned that if you don't live today, then you certainly wont have a good tomorrow.
I couldn't agree more with this!

I've been there before. In fact, this is something I still struggle with from time to time. As strong as I may look on the outside, there are times when I'm dying on the inside and think, "It doesn't matter that my boyfriend says he wants to marry me. Something will happen before then, and I'll be all alone." Here's the thing: if I let that thought occupy my mind every day, it would change the way I act toward him. I would start pushing him away, because why not? He's going to leave me anyway! The problem is that, when you do that, you end up with what is called a "self-fulfilling prophecy." You fear something will happen, so you act differently, and as a result, the thing you fear happens. If you act "normally" and accept that you have people who love you TODAY (and not worry about TOMORROW), then you can avoid that self-fulfilling prophecy.

Don't give in to your fears. I'm sorry that your siblings left you, but like another member said, your siblings may have had stronger relationships with their moms than with your dad, so they naturally wanted to go live with their moms. If they left because of that, then it has nothing to do with disliking and abandoning you - it has everything to do with what they needed at the time of the divorce. As for friends... well, they can come and go, but that doesn't have anything to do with abandonment. It's just a part of life - we grow older, our interests change, and as a result, we may drift apart. That doesn't mean you won't find friends again... friends that are even more special and committed than the ones you have now!

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