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Grrrrrrrr. She's a major pain in my ass (mentions suicide and self harm, don't read if triggered) - November 5th 2012, 09:17 PM

Okay, the person I am referring to is my mum. I never knew how much of a trigger she was for me. I mean, fucking hell, she is just a fucking bitch to me. I ran out of credit yesterday and needed to text the guy that I was staying with, I rang up mum and asked her to recharge my phone credit. She said, no I've done it twice, I'll text C for you. So I said 'Okay, well, can you tell him I don't have my ID and that I can't do anything with my credit card without it'. The message was simple. C wanted me to go with D to fix up my credit card since it's being a little shit and I have to go ask what is wrong with it. Anyway, mum went off her head, saying why does C need your money and shit like this. She had totally missed what I said. And, before I rang her I was quite calm, some could say, mildly happy. But, as soon as she picked up my call I just felt angry. It's the same at home as well. BUt my mum, CANNOT take responsibility for her own actions and blames ME for every fucking little thing! She says my friends are bad influences on me because I go off my head at her after she says something. The night I OD'd, she was pestering me about an assignment and I had to do the same thing over and over again and she'd say, this is wrong, this is wrong, she'd show me a little bit of how to do it and I'd do it and bring it back and she'd say NO!.... So I'd ask her to do some of it and then she would say no you need to learn. And so after that I cut the hell out of my arm and then later that night I gave up... I never realised how much of a pschological and emotion abuser she was. Plus, verbal and a bit of physical at times to.
So, this being said, next year, my friend M (she's a teacher who teaches teachers), mentioned to me there are these homes, not foster homes, but homes where teens of sixteen can go to get out of a bad home and take independance and responsibilty. I'm considering going.
Or even finding my dad..... coz I think my drug-abusing father would be fucking better than my mum.....

Jay.


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Re: Grrrrrrrr. She's a major pain in my ass (mentions suicide and self harm, don't read if triggered) - November 6th 2012, 02:31 AM

I work at a non-profit that offers transitional living for older adolescents, so definitely look into that as an option. Generally, you have to demonstrate you are making a sincere effort to become self-sufficient, which means getting a job or taking classes at a college/university. The amount of time you can stay will vary. The place I work at offers housing for 18-23 year olds... so theoretically, an 18-year-old could get that housing for 5-6 years. You may only be able to get housing until you're 18, but it's better than nothing. These places can have long waiting lists, so I would start making calls now and tell them about your situation.

In the meantime, you need to come up with a plan. How are you going to cope with your mom's behavior? Have you tried talking to her? I know that may generate an immediate "no" as a response, but you'd be surprised... some parents will quickly change their behavior if they're told their behavior is contributing to their child's self-harm/suicidality. If that hasn't worked (or you know with absolute certainty it wouldn't work), think about what you can do to cope when you're unable to leave the house. You may also want to come up with a safety plan, should your mom become physically abusive and threaten your well-being. Is there someone you could stay with? Would you be willing to call the police, if the abuse escalated?

I'm sorry I can't offer anything more concrete. Sometimes, there isn't much we can do, other than hanging on until we have the ability to leave. I wish you all the best, and remember that there's always hope, even if it seems hopeless at times. The hopelessness will ALWAYS pass, if given time. You've probably heard the phrase, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Well, this situation with your mom is also a temporary problem. You won't have to deal with her forever. You may never have a great relationship with her, but there will come a time where you will be able to decide whether you want to maintain contact with her or not. You can, and WILL, get through this difficult time.






   
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Re: Grrrrrrrr. She's a major pain in my ass (mentions suicide and self harm, don't read if triggered) - November 6th 2012, 03:10 AM

You may only be able to get housing until you're 18, but it's better than nothing. These places can have long waiting lists, so I would start making calls now and tell them about your situation.

[The share-houses here you can get into at 16, which is good for me since I am 15 and cannot put up with her bull for another 3 years]
In the meantime, you need to come up with a plan. How are you going to cope with your mom's behavior? Have you tried talking to her?

[I have tried telling her to stop and stuff like that but she gets ferocious when I do bring it up. She just says 'stop being such a fucking brat, I hate you, I wish you'd never been born etc etc.] [Also, mum does NOT let me out of the house, only for school, church, youth, but with with friends or anything... So, if I'm pissed off my therapist told me to go for a walk, I tried walking out and she had a go at me... I'd told her where I was going, how long and she said like hell you are... it gets on my nerves]

Is there someone you could stay with? Would you be willing to call the police, if the abuse escalated?
[My friend said I can stay at hers, but I don't know. I can always call up the guy I'm staying with now, he said I could talk with him whenever I need to.]


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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