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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
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I feel like I am in high school again - November 11th 2012, 02:17 AM

Ok so I am not 100% sure if this belongs here but what ever.

I am starting to feel like I am in high school again as the title explains. Which is not exactly a positive thing for me.

Ok so here's whats going on, I am on staff for a youth organization and there isn't to many people on staff (maybe 12 people?) and about 6-8 of us are student aged (like 18-25), and 5 of us including me are in university and 2 of them are like best friends/roommates. And I just started feeling left out because they were all in this organization in high school before they aged out and became staff instead whereas I came in later only as staff, and I feel like it is getting a bit cliquey where a few of them always talk about what they did in high school and seem to be getting close and were planning on hanging out and I was standing right there and they never even tried to invite me and I was just like "I've actually never been to that place", I didn't say it because I was trying to get to invited, I was just saying it. But they're like "oh yeah, well you can come if you want"... And to be honest, I didn't really want to go, I wanted to go home to bed cause it was like 10 PM and I had an early class, but then I was having this insecure "I don't want to be left out" high school moment and ended up going. Fortunately I realized I'd forgotten my cell phone which I ended up having to go back to get so I didn't have to sit there for hours feeling insecure.... But.... Still... I would like to feel more included with these people but I feel like I am getting insecure about saying or doing the wrong thing and being left out by them. I KNOW we're on the staff so it's not REALLY about the getting along bit but still... And also, it is mostly with the 2 girls and and only 1 of the guys I feel this way around, I am fine with the kids and older staff members, and it was just recently when I noticed it was getting a bit friendly and maybe not so much with me. So.... What can I do about this if i want to be closer with them?




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Re: I feel like I am in high school again - November 11th 2012, 05:32 PM

Ergh. I've had those feelings before...

Maybe when they start talking about their highschool memories, try to guide the conversation away to something else. If you guys talk with each other I'm sure you'll become closer.

Now if they refuse to speak to you...I say leave them alone and focus on the other staff. I'm not saying ignore the BFFs, but don't waste your energy on someone who doesn't even want to reach out.

And since you're in an organization with them, doing whatever it is your organization does, you'll bond over that. I met one of my closest friends at a drama club. Don't despair.
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Re: I feel like I am in high school again - November 12th 2012, 11:00 PM

Unfortunately you get this all the way through your life wherever you go. The best thing you can do is try to get involved. Chat with them on your breaks, meet with them afterwards, chat on facebook, maybe organise a fun outing like bowling or something. If after all your effort they are still not interested, they're not worth it. Put up with them when you have to and go see your real friends afterwards.
   
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