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Average Joe
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Unhappy ..Intimidating? - May 23rd 2013, 10:45 PM

I don't know why but its hard for me to make new friends. Some will say I look intimidating or angry all the time. I don't try to look like this, haha. I feel really bad. Advice?
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Re: ..Intimidating? - May 24th 2013, 03:51 AM

well if anyone judges you negatively without reaching out, then they aren't worth your time. but i've always had trouble making friends too.. but for me it was because i was just socially awkward and shy. there will always be opportunities somewhere.. sometimes you really just need to reach out.. and step out of your boundary lines. thats what i had to do.. i usually don't make the first effort, but thats what i started doing. reaching out, making small talk to people, and see where it goes. but if you want to appear less intimidating, i would suggest smiling more often and laughing.. well not an overly forced laugh though. but yeah, laughing and smile more makes you appear more approachable.. it puts others at ease and feel comfortable to reach out back.
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Re: ..Intimidating? - May 26th 2013, 05:24 PM

Have you tried asking those people what it is about you that makes you seem intimidating or scary? I used to hear that I seemed cold and snobby, so I finally asked a friend what they meant by that. She said that I didn't smile or talk very often when with a group of friends. That feedback allowed me to make some changes to my approach. I began to practice smiling in front of a mirror - yes, I know that sounds silly, but it actually helped me realize how often I don't smile at people, even when I'm feeling happy on the inside! I also began talking to people more often, versus listening to them as they talked to other people. I tend to be more introverted than most of my friends, but once I realized that made me come across as cold and snobby, I started making more small talk and asked follow-up questions in conversations. Within a few months, people stopped making those sorts of comments, and even said they didn't believe I was an introverted person, because I seemed so open and friendly whenever they saw me! It really was a huge turnaround, and you can have something similar happen in your life if you begin to actively seek feedback and change the way you interact with people. =)

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Re: ..Intimidating? - May 31st 2013, 09:26 PM

People do say when I do smile it brightens my face up, also I am incredibly shy. Maybe I'm so insecure about myself that it really shows? Anyway thanks this really helped! The overly forced laugh thing was funny, I can imagine just randomly... AHA HA HA! Then someone looks at me like what a weirdo
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Re: ..Intimidating? - May 31st 2013, 11:25 PM

Haha, I used to have this same problem!

The reasons most people found me intimidating was because I was taller than most of them, used to wear dark clothes, had some pretty solid opinions, and went around without smiling a lot of the time. Not to mention that I never speak to anyone unless I was spoken to, which might've not helped at all.

I'd recommend asking what your friends find most intimidating first of all, and then working off of that. Some things (like height, for instance) you can't change, and some things (like the way you dress or something), you might not want to change. But working on communicating in a welcoming manner, and working up the courage to introduce yourself to people who look friendly even before they speak to you, is a great starting point.

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Re: ..Intimidating? - June 5th 2013, 06:59 PM

Hey there,

well anyone who judges you without even knowing you first really isn't friend material. However, you should try to just smile a bit more. I'm not saying you have to go around smiling every second of the day, but when you see someone you know just give them a smile and a polite hello. This will also make you seem more approachable and I guarantee you will have friends in no time.

If you need any more tips or advice, feel free to message me!

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