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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Elizabeth012898 Offline
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I don't wanna leave... - May 25th 2013, 06:29 PM

My grandparents have decided that my mom isn't a good enough mom to continue raising me so they want to send me to live with my dad who lives 3 hours away from where I currently am. I have my entire life here. I cant just leave. My best friend is suicidal and I'm the only reason she's still alive and if I leave she would be devestated. I would be to. She's like my other half. I've known since we were 3. I self harm to badly and it would get waaay worse if I left her and my boyfriend. I don't what to do. I love my dad but 3 hours away from everyone is to far Does anyone have any ideas about what I should do?
   
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Re: I don't wanna leave... - May 26th 2013, 12:39 AM

From someone that has moved a lot starting at the age of 5, have you considered sitting down with them and talking to them, come to a compromise? I know moving is never easy. I also know they are going to say maybe a new start will be better for you, and hey, maybe it will be; you never know till you try. I know leaving a best friend can be hard, but you can stay in touch with them, there are technology's now a days where you can see your best friends face everyday, like skype. I am sure if all else fails you will find new friends and have a brand new life ahead of you, it sucks but like I had to and did; things got easier and I found new friends. Things changed and life does too.
I hope things work out for you, and you do not have to move, but if you do; make the best out of it.
   
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Re: I don't wanna leave... - May 26th 2013, 08:46 PM

Who is/are your legal guardian(s)? If it's your mother, then your grandparents can't force you to move away from your mother. They would need to get a government agency involved, and somehow prove that your mother is incapable of properly caring for you. For example, if your mother is abusive or neglectful and can't meet your needs (ex. substance abuse, mental illness), then Child Protective Services could get involved, but they would have to investigate the current living situation first. Government agencies are generally very reluctant to take children away from their biological mothers, so it would have to be pretty bad if they took you away without giving your mother a chance to straighten up.

If your grandparents are your legal guardians, then I would want to know why you're not living with them. That seems like a weird arrangement - living with one of your biological parents, but not having one of them as your legal guardian. I would agree with the previous poster's idea of talking about the issues at hand (ex. neglectful parenting, your struggles with self-harm, not wanting to leave a close friend). See if you can reach a compromise. Would your grandparents be willing to let you stay for a while longer, if certain conditions were met (ex. your mother did something to straighten up, and you sought help for the self-harm)?

I wish you all the best of luck. I know this must be incredibly stressful for you right now. Remember that you DO have some rights, but ultimately, the most important thing is to ensure you're physically and mentally healthy, regardless of where you end up living.






   
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Unhappy Re: I don't wanna leave... - June 10th 2013, 02:32 AM

From the other side the one who's being left your right she will be devistated tell her in person when you guys are laughing in one of your room about the wierdest stuff one of those best friend moments tht in 10 years you will look back and chuckle and just say I need to tell you somthing and then tell her be her sholder when she needs to cry.i know what she will be going through tommarrow is the day my best friend and the only one I am be my self and who I really am around moves 7 1/2 hours away and I won't see her for a long time and I'm so used to her sleeping over every weekend and commin over or me going over there at least once a week durring the random week day.for the last 2 months I cry myself to sleep evry night but yet I don't even get to say goodbye it was supost to be next weekend but instead it's tomarrow.i hope this will give you some idea of what she is and will be going through.
   
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