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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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How to come to terms with looking like your mother...? - May 25th 2013, 09:15 PM

I look like my mother. It depresses me.

Anyway, I try very hard not to look with her. For instance, I'm strongly considering going blonde, because every passing year my hair gets darker and my skin gets paler and I look more and more like my mom. And I'm thoroughly convinced I'm going to end up overweight like she is, so I'm constantly on a diet, but I never can seem to get skinny enough. We even have the same body type, hands, and legs!

No one else sees it. Heck, she doesn't even see it. But I do, and I hate looking at myself 'cause sometimes I look at myself in the mirror -- just passin' by, y'know -- and I think I'm my mother. I'm loony.

Anyone else have this problem? How do I handle this?


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Re: How to come to terms with looking like your mother...? - May 26th 2013, 12:31 AM

Its normal to look like either of your parents; they did give birth to you, or at least one of them did :P You can try to change your looks by dying your hair or doing whatever you can think of, but sadly you will always have some resemblance of a parent. Sadly, I get it from my father that I do not like at all. Its something you have to live with. I'm sorry if this didn't help at all.
   
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Re: How to come to terms with looking like your mother...? - May 26th 2013, 12:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by .StarDust.♥ View Post
Its normal to look like either of your parents; they did give birth to you, or at least one of them did :P You can try to change your looks by dying your hair or doing whatever you can think of, but sadly you will always have some resemblance of a parent. Sadly, I get it from my father that I do not like at all. Its something you have to live with. I'm sorry if this didn't help at all.
Yeah, I know.

My mom was actually really pretty when she was younger. Maybe if I keep looking at old pictures, I'll start to feel better about the whole situation, lol.

Thankfully my mom and I have a good relationship, so it's not that harrowing a situation... It just sometimes overwhelms me that whoever I bring home to meet my parents some day will inevitably think: "Oh my gosh, my girlfriend looks like her mother."


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
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Re: How to come to terms with looking like your mother...? - May 26th 2013, 08:55 PM

Well, of course you look like your mother! I would be surprised if you didn't. =P You've heard of genetics, right? So based on genetics, you're going to look somewhat like your mother, and somewhat like your father. It won't always be an exact 50/50 split, but maybe you'll have your "mother's looks" and your "father's brains," or vice versa.

I do want to let you know that I can relate. My mom is... well, I've had people say things about her appearance that aren't terribly flattering. Part of the problem is that she doesn't put much effort into her appearance, so I tell myself that I can avoid being compared to her (in a negative way) if I take more care with my personal hygiene/wardrobe. I also try to eat healthier and challenge myself mentally, in order to avoid some of the pitfalls she's fallen into over the years. You can certainly do the same.

One thing that concerns me is your desire to constantly be on a diet in order to avoid weighing as much as your mother does. While weight IS partially based on lifestyle, genetics also plays a role. Once again, that is something you simply can't avoid, and constantly being on a diet could lead to disordered eating in the future. I'd be very cautious about that - eat healthy and exercise 3x/week, but don't take it so far that you'd do anything to keep off the extra pounds that your body naturally wants to put on due to genetics.

Genetics will always be a factor, but you CAN change your lifestyle (to some extent), and ultimately, you are NOT your mother. You'll always have different personalities, different interests, etc. You don't have to go down the same road as her, and while you may resemble her physically, anyone who knows you well enough will know that similar facial/body features are as far as the resemblance goes. They won't wonder if you'll be your mother 20+ years from now - they'll know you'll be a different person.






   
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