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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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katieG Offline
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Think I am becoming obsessed with ex friend!? - May 27th 2013, 12:26 AM

Hi..
Basically I have this weird obsession with my ex best friend. We met about 3 years ago and for a year were completely inseperable and spent all our time together. Right from the start she always had more money than me, was prettier, skinnier etc, and I was always jealous of her. Depsite this we were still best friends, so much so that we decided to move into an apartment together. This all went wrong pretty quickly as she got a boyfriend who lived back in the city where her parents lived, and we started falling out alot because she kept going home and ignoring me and our other house mate, and she wasnt used to having to pay rent and bills etc so wasnt a very good person to live with. (Not actually sure how relevant this is haha) anyway within like, 3 months we just were not speaking anymore. This is where it (or I) started to get weird. I think its just because I wanted to be more like her, even though we werent speaking, for example I thought how nice her clothes and hair etc were and thought if I looked more like that it would be better so I changed my hair exactly like hers and started borrowing all her clothes when she was not around. I started using the same phrases as her, buying the same makeup and clothes and even eating and drinking the same things, I keep putting this image on in front of people, I guess because I want them to view me in the same way I view her? Anyway, Eventually she moved out and to a different city and we stopped speaking completely. But in the year and a half since this happened I have become really obsessed and just want to copy everything she does! Im becoming so angry and freaked out at myself. Like for example, I still know her passwords so I log into her facebook and email all the time, and if i see a photo of her wearing something I feel like I have to find out where its from and then buy it! I keep logging into her amazon accounts and similar websites and if she buys like a book or something I then feel like I have to buy it because she has it! I know its probably just because I dont really like myself and have always kinda envied and admired her and wanted to be more like her but now its got to the point where I do feel obsessed with making myself look and act like her! I do know this is super weird and I feel so uncomfortable knowing what I am doing because I know it isnt healthy or the right thing to be doing!
   
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Little Lion Man
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Re: Think I am becoming obsessed with ex friend!? - May 27th 2013, 01:04 AM

Okay, you know that this is bad. That's a great first step, because once you recognize a problem, you can start to fix it.
Get rid of all of her passwords. Throw them away, delete them off your computer, whatever you have to do so that you aren't even tempted to log onto her things. It would also be a good idea to delete her off of your facebook, so that you can't copy her via her pictures.
I would also recommend a therapist, because the underlying issue is that you don't like yourself, and that makes me sad because everyone should like themselves. You're an awesome person and you're the only one of you that there is, that's two reasons to like yourself right there.



Sorry I couldn't be there, I was tied to a rocking chair.




   
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