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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Harming and Family - June 2nd 2013, 04:41 AM

I'm not worth being in my family. I'm always put down by them. I can't never make them proud I'm always to blame for every fight that happens in the family and there are times when I just wish I wasn't In the world and hopefully that would make their lives better then what they are with me in it. I have thoughts of me self harming
   
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Re: Harming and Family - June 2nd 2013, 04:06 PM

No. Don't think like that. Taking yourself out...I don't think you know how much pain that would cause them. Even if you fight with them, even if you think you're not good enough, they still love you.

It's nearly impossible for sane parents to NOT love their children. They may not be great at showing that love, because they probably have issues of their own, but that doesn't mean you aren't an important part in their life. Their lives would NOT be better if you weren't in the world.
And if they truly do think they'ed be better off without you, then they have some serious issues. Please don't think they hate you. Now siblings...they could be jealous, envious of you, or just plain cruel.
But they would miss you.

Please don't self-harm. I know you're hurting, but you don't need to be hurting physically as well. It doesn't solve your problems. Self-harm won't heal you like God. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say self-harming may screw up your life. Addictions are destructive. You could die.

And don't say, "Good, I want to die." No. You do not. You haven't lived enough to see enough of life. Life is hard, life is tough, but it's one of the greatest things to happen to you. Whether God is real in your mind or not, you weren't put here by chance. When I say you have a purpose, I mean it. Life is like a jigsaw puzzle...will you really take yourself out and be that missing piece? The picture would not get done. And that picture would be the one to change the world.

Please, hang in there. Try to get on good terms with your family. Try to listen to their side of the story. Tell them how you feel. Maybe they'll listen.
But don't let them make you think those horrible thoughts...
I'm sorry you and your family fight like this. You're going to get better. Don't despair!
God bless.
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"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
   
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Re: Harming and Family - June 2nd 2013, 07:17 PM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

As the previous poster said, parents are always going to have their own issues, because they are human like you and me (and therefore are not perfect). As tempting as it may be to blame yourself for their fights, and to see yourself as the "black sheep" of the family who makes everything worse, that simply is not true. There are people who you either know now, or will meet in the future, that would be worse off without you in their lives. Whenever these thoughts begin to creep into your mind, try to remind yourself of what you're good at, and what you contribute to your other relationships. I'll bet you've been a wonderful friend to some of the people you know, and possibly a good classmate/teammate/student/club member as well!

Having resorted to self-harm in the past, I can tell you that 1) I regret doing it, and 2) there are other ways to cope with it. A list of self-harm alternatives can be found here. I encourage you to try several of the alternatives every time you begin to think about resorting to self-harm. Give them a shot - you never know which one will "click" for you!






   
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