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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Xurayesu Offline
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Unhappy Anyone else's friends change over the course of the year? - June 22nd 2013, 03:33 AM

So I used to be friends with a guy [Edited] He used to come over to my house and was quiet, passive, laid-back, and introverted like me every now and then but for the other half of this year he's been acting quite strange. He was with a bunch of people he never talked to and today we passed by each other in the hallway at school and he said "EW" along with two other friends he doesn't usually hang out with. He would criticize me about my appearance, and some of the things I listen to were also met with a mundane, "EW, you listen to that?" (see, "Daft Punk - Face To Face). He would act really full of himself and now he is the complete opposite person he was back then. Von would yell a lot when it came to group projects and parties. He would even say that he did most of the work when really, we all did our fair share of work. I don't mean to offend him but honestly, I think he's what you would call, a "swag fag". He now wears saggy skinny jeans, a YOLO shirt, and an OBEY flat cap. It wasn't long until I noticed that he had gotten his ears pierced and he's now one of the extremely superficial populars which I never want to become... a racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic person. So far I only have eight friends at school that I am happy with. We are all friends with each other and we're all that we have. The thing is, will there any way he will be able to get Von back to the person we liked? If something like this has ever happened to you please tell me.


The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart.

Last edited by PSY; June 22nd 2013 at 03:35 PM. Reason: Please do not post the full names of people other than yourself without their consent.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Anyone else's friends change over the course of the year? - June 22nd 2013, 01:07 PM

He's probably trying to fit into a crowd of friends that you may call "Cool, popular" or whatever the term.

Generally, i don't think theres much you can do, other than wait, if he isn't accepted into another crowd of friend, he'll revert to being his normal self, this is generally what i know, but not what i experience. Hope i helped, time may be an answer, Or you could talk to him about his changes. But thats your choice.


Kids these days......


Look at my age, i shouldn't be saying "kids these days" at my age! I FEEL LIKE i'm 70!


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Re: Anyone else's friends change over the course of the year? - June 22nd 2013, 01:45 PM

Has something like this ever happened to me? Yes. Every bloody time. I've been stabbed in the back by almost every friend I've ever had. They seem like a genuinely nice person at the start of the year, and then they change into the most unpleasant individual you could imagine.

You know what I do when it happens? I say to hell with them, and move on. If they're not willing to make the effort, why should I bother? Quite frankly, if they're not treating me the way I'd want them to, I'm no longer going to try to be friends with them. Think about this, is he really the kind of person you want to hang around with now? And, I'm going to be honest, it's unlikely that you will be able to change him. He might come to his senses and come running back to your group, but you won't be able to make him do that. So, I say leave him off. Let him be an idiot if he wants to be one.

You might get advice from a non-cynic, but this is my view on it, and, believe me, I've experienced enough people like this to know how to deal with them.
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Stuck.in.time Offline
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Re: Anyone else's friends change over the course of the year? - June 28th 2013, 08:43 AM

Yeah, it's something common for me actually. I've changed friendship groups numerous times. I'm in my fifth year in high school and I've known my current friends for a little over a year. And for me, it's nothing really to do with fitting in, it's just that I didn't fit in with them I guess. I just never felt comfortable with them, and they didn't really 'click' with me as friends. Sometimes they changed, moved friendship groups and left me behind. And I don't blame them for that, because there were other people out there who understood them better and who could be better friends that I could have been. Unfortunately it's not really like you case, so I don't know if this helps.

In regards to your friend, yes perhaps he wants to fit in- at least that's what it sounds like to me. If you want to get him to back to who he was before, maybe you could continue being the friend to him like before... perhaps he'll see that he's missed the friendship he's had with you. You could also speak to him about it, I guess. But if that's who he wants to be, respect his decision. You can't enforce your ideals of that former friendship on him.

People change, for better or for worse- that depends on the actions that person makes.


I know it's time to move on and let go... but I can't. I'm just... Stuck.in.time

   
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