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fmpro Offline
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Should I go and visit my mother in jail? Does she still have the right to tell me what to do? - June 29th 2013, 04:24 AM

my mother is in jail for eight months for forgery related charges. My dad asked if I want to visit her sometime because he said she would appreciate a visit and it could be an "educational experience" (What does that mean?)

. I have no problem with my mother and other than this misdeed she was a good mother but I don't know if I should subject myself to go into a jail just to see her for a while. Does anyone know what it is like there and how the visiting works? I am a 14 year old girl by the way. Also, what can we talk about in the short time we probably have?

My best friend joked ""maybe it will remind your mom how it feels when she punishes you. when she comes back, things might be a little different". Even though she is joking she has a point. Kind of funny to think she is in the punishment situation now

also, my dad said I still have to listen to my mother when she gets out and even when she is jail if she calls and he wants her opinion on something he will listen. I don't understand how he can do this. I mean like I said I don't hate my mom or anything and had a good relationship with her but now that she committed a crime, her telling what to do would be hypocritical
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Kate* Offline
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Re: Should I go and visit my mother in jail? Does she still have the right to tell me what to do? - June 30th 2013, 05:41 PM

Hello and welcome to TH. Whether you go to see your mom in jail is entirely up to you, unless your dad forces you to go you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I've never been through the visiting process, so I can't tell you what that's like. As far as the "educational experience" your dad might be afraid that, because your mom has made this mistake, you will follow in her footsteps (I'm not saying this will happen), so he wants you to see what the consequences of crime look like.

I know it might feel like your mom telling you what to do is hypocritical, but everyone makes mistakes, and she is dealing with the consequences for hers. She is your mom and just because she made a mistake doesn't mean that you can stop listening to her. If anything, she will want to prevent you from making mistakes more now because she knows what making mistakes could mean.

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Re: Should I go and visit my mother in jail? Does she still have the right to tell me what to do? - July 1st 2013, 05:27 PM

Your mom is still your mom. Regardless of what mistakes she's made it is still her duty and her job to do her best to guide you and do her best to teach your right from wrong so that you become a better person than she is. Her messing up big time doesn't just cease the parental duties from existing. I just wanted to put that out in the universe before continuing.

The reality is that your dad might think going to see your mom in jail will help you see what it's like if you mess up too, that's what he means about it being educational, not many people get to see the inside of a jail without being imprisoned (or without being in law enforcement but you know what I mean). But if your feeling to conflicted to go see her that's up to you. No one can make you forgive your mom. And if that means you can't see her right now then that's a choice you have to make for yourself.

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