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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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frostie Offline
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just finished one disagreement, now another is starting?!! - June 30th 2013, 06:36 PM

Right, so, for a while now, me and my dad have been, not arguing but not getting along either. Recently we put our house on the market and we got a sale, now it's just a matter of time before we are allowed to move in. This place is a derelict one, therefore needs a lot of work. Thing is, I suffer from severe raynauds (and possibly a complication which hasn't been highlighted yet), and my dad has basically been accusing me for putting the pain on at my own convenience, which I dont. Then my mum, being the angel that she is, stood up for me (I was in bed now) and explained about the condition. Which, turns out, my dad didn't realise was as severe. So that was that, since then he has becomes a lot more, umm, kind, considerate? I don't know, something like that. Haha.
Anyway, as we are moving, they don't want me to have to do anything strenuous, (I struggle picking up tinned baked beans sometimes) so dad was like, oh you can do the mowing of the grass, so he is now going to buy a ride on lawn mower, which will be 'mine'.
Thing is, now my sister isn't being very nice to me, yes she is 5 years younger than me, she is 9, and I feel, not threatened but I don't know. She is constantly speaking in an unpleasant tone to me, blaming me, ignoring me, and then I get blamed cos I'm older and more mature... she can be lovely, but recently she has been like this and also telling me to do things for myself which she knows I can't do. She thinks I'm being lazy, what should I do, if I tell parents they'll think I'm moaning, and being pathetic, and Lucy will be even more horrid towards me, but if I leave it we could end up never speaking again. Please help, I can't deal with all of this and me and my dad just getting ok again and my syndrome.... pwetty pwease??


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Re: just finished one disagreement, now another is starting?!! - July 1st 2013, 01:29 AM

Hey There,

My question that kept coming up as I read, are you informed of raynauds and your family? It seems like it's pretty new to everyone, considering you said your dad is now treating you differently than before. Could you ask your doctor if yourself and your family can learn more about it? (if you haven't done so already) because everyone can help each other with understanding of it, how to cope, what you can and not do or what things you can try.

I know you said you don't want to tell your parents how your sister is treating you, but if you don't let your parents know how she is treating you, things may become harder for you and her. What if you told your parents the way she is treating you, what is the worst that could happen?

Does your sister know about you having raynauds disease? If she doesn't maybe if you or your parents or all of you to sit down and talk about it with her? Communication can really help in stressful situations, to help the other person or people understand better of what is going on and how to help.

Would any of these idea's be any helpful to you?

Take Care,

Alergnon


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Re: just finished one disagreement, now another is starting?!! - July 1st 2013, 03:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alergnon View Post
Hey There,

My question that kept coming up as I read, are you informed of raynauds and your family? It seems like it's pretty new to everyone, considering you said your dad is now treating you differently than before. Could you ask your doctor if yourself and your family can learn more about it? (if you haven't done so already) because everyone can help each other with understanding of it, how to cope, what you can and not do or what things you can try.

I know you said you don't want to tell your parents how your sister is treating you, but if you don't let your parents know how she is treating you, things may become harder for you and her. What if you told your parents the way she is treating you, what is the worst that could happen?

Does your sister know about you having raynauds disease? If she doesn't maybe if you or your parents or all of you to sit down and talk about it with her? Communication can really help in stressful situations, to help the other person or people understand better of what is going on and how to help.

Would any of these idea's be any helpful to you?

Take Care,

Alergnon
Hi, yeah, mum came with me to every appointment so she knows anyway, me and mum are close so it's easier to talk to her. As for my dad, I guess he just forgets what I say to him a lot, also my sister lies all the time and I used to so maybe he thinks I got back into the habit of lying? As for Lucy, I don't have a clue, I have told her millions of times and she came with me to the appointments. I think she is at that age where she just ignores everything she wants to. She can be an angel though, she often puts the chickens away for me, although sometimes I have to ask mum to ask her to do it, as she just ignores me. Ok, thanks for the help, really appreciate it


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