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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry my obbsesive friend wont leave me alone! - July 3rd 2013, 02:04 PM

my friend always wants to hang out with me witch is cool but he is starting to get over the top when he rings me up and asks if i wanna chill with him if i say no and that i dont wanna hang out then he just calls me a fucking nerd that has no life and then sometimes turns up to my house even after i said i dont wanna hang out and then he either walks into my house WITHOUT knocking or anything and complains for a few minuts and then we either hang out or argue and he leaves or he just turns up knocks i answere the door and we either hang out or he leaves.

so how can i get him to leave alone! (nicest way possible) because im a introvert and i really need some space from people sometimes!
   
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Re: my obbsesive friend wont leave me alone! - July 3rd 2013, 02:27 PM

I had a friend like that.. He was always coming around even without asking me.. But for me, i found out that it was because he fell in love with me.. the nicest way i could break it to him that he needed to slack off on the visits and calling and stuff was to just out and say

" I understand you wanna hangout when you have nothing else to do.. But if i say i cant or dont wanna hangout, i would appreciate it if you would respect me.. There are times i just wanna be left alone."

If he doesnt listen to that or has some rude remark back.. Then you may have to get a little more specific and tell him exactly what it is bothering you..

What i said to my friend only worked a couple days.. He then found out about the guy i was dating and bashed me on facebook and said mean things.. however, im not the type to sit back when someone who is supposed to be my friend bashes my boyfriend.. I got a little more upset then i should have.. And thats when i let loose and didnt care if i hurt his feelings or not.. Sometimes, u just have to be honest even if it hurts their feelings..

On the him walking in without knocking.. I would suggest always locking your door.. If you live with parents, then explain to them whats going on. They can also help prevent him from just barging in and doing as he pleases..
   
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Re: my obbsesive friend wont leave me alone! - July 3rd 2013, 03:47 PM

You probably just need to be straight with him in the nicest way possible, just tell him that you understand he wants to hang out but that you like having your privacy and that it bothers you that he'll just come over when you already expressed your desire to be alone.

Some people just don't get it, i had a friend like that and he basically drove me into hating him. Now of course my friend had his own problems and the fact that he refused to respect that fact that when I was busy or what ever that I wasn't hanging out with him was only one of many problems i had with him. Sometimes i'd say I didn't want to hang out simply cause I was doing something as mundane as cleaning my apartment and he'd think I was being weird and should go any how, but he annoyed me and I wasn't going to drop my plans for the day for someone who I thought was annoying... I just remember this one time he wanted me to come chill with him and a mutual friend and when I said no he decided to say he was going to come over any how and I ended up having to text/call the mutual friend and ask her to force him to stop because i wasn't even going to let them in, I was busy and that was that. But nothing i could have said would have stopped this guy, he lacks a lot of common sense and common decency and if what I just described was the only issue i had with him maybe we would still be friends.

All you can really do is talk to your friend, If you don't it might go the way of m and my friend. Tell him that if you say no that he needs to have the respect to stay away. It might also help if you tell him what he can do to get to see you, for example, would making plans with you 1-2 days ahead of time be better?




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: my obbsesive friend wont leave me alone! - July 3rd 2013, 04:48 PM

yeh im gonna have a talk to him about this next time i see him.
   
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