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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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SilentBunny Offline
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July 3rd 2013, 11:26 PM

Ok, so my friends are attacking me via text or ignoring me now. I use to go to them for advice, but not anymore...they're pissing me off so much I want to beat them up next time I see them. Here's what one of them sent me a few minutes ago "You want the truth? You want me to be straight forward? Fine! Nobody likes your attitude and you havnt changed, this is why people leave you espishally kristin. You sit there and make your problems the biggest gosh damn thing ever, your full of yourself, and when people try to help you lash out on them instead of listening. You're going no were with that attitude, and when people tell you to seek better help you don't. When I said I m done, I'm not joking. Goodbye Coby, I'm done with you"

Anyone got any ideas on how I become friends with people again? One I dated for 3 years on and off, and the other sent me the above message. I was thinking of buying them gifts, but idk. For know ill just ignore them all summer and live life.


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Last edited by PSY; July 4th 2013 at 03:25 AM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
   
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Re: i hate people right now - July 4th 2013, 03:31 AM

Well, if your goal is to become friends with these two people again, I don't think buying them gifts or ignoring them all summer is the way to go. You should probably start off by apologizing for whatever part you played in this conflict. Yes, more of the blame may be on their shoulders, but generally, when things get out-of-hand between friends, it's because both people didn't handle the situation as well as they could have.

Could there be some truth to what this friend said (about having an unpleasant attitude, not accepting advice/lashing out, etc.)? If so, then be the bigger person and apologize for your faults... and make it a sincere apology, one that isn't followed up with, "but YOU did/didn't ____________." If your friends are also right about the need to seek out help (I'm guessing they mean professional help from a psychological professional?), then it's important to address that need. After all, if you're feeling better emotionally/mentally, then you'll be better equipped to deal with situations like these. Seeking help will benefit you across the board, and not just in the friendship realm.

If that's not something you're willing to do right now, then that's okay - give yourself some time to cool off, and think about whether or not these two friendships are worth saving. Are you willing to set your pride aside and be the first person to try and make amends, for the sake of salvaging two valuable friendships? Or does the bad outweigh the good, and warrant saying good-bye to both of these friendships?






   
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Re: i hate people right now - July 4th 2013, 04:20 AM

I've apolagized to kristen and she refuses to talk to me, so ill give her space and try again in a month. As for danielle, she's a bit more tough, I've apolagized once already this week and we ended up fighting again the next day. Maybe its best to just cut her loose.


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Re: i hate people right now - July 4th 2013, 03:42 PM

Hey there,
Wow that's just a mean text message! I was having similar problems last year, and the way I overcame it was just forgetting about them and basically, I ditched them. I know this can be really hard and painful to do, but I think it's worth doing since you don't deserve to be treated like this from them. If you still want to continue being friends with them, give them some space and time. Don't text them for a while, and see what they do. If they text you, this means they are willing to talk/be your friends or other things. However, I would recommend moving on and finding new friends. Also as Robin has said, buying gifts won't do any good. Well I hope this helps!

Best of luck,
Rishy
   
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Re: i hate people right now - July 4th 2013, 05:44 PM

Thanks for the advice. I'll try that.


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