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Name: Hollič
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Exclamation Desperate need of your help! :( - July 19th 2013, 09:30 PM

Firstly i'm new to this forum so a big hello to everyone! Okay so here I go briefly!

So i'm 18 years old and I suffer from depression I had a horrible time at school I was bullied and once I finished school I took a year out before I went to college when I went to college I missed out on so so many things what people do my age, and to this day i'm still am to some extent. I dropped out of college some time back and I've become alot more confident but the thing is... I only have 1 friend and i'm sick of it and i think hes getting pretty sick of me, too. I do try putting myself out there but I just feel like whenever I meet new people even when I'm confident and bubbly they just don't like me. Or when I chill with my only friend and his friends I feel like they get the vibe that i'm "ell's loner friend" and i try my hardest not to give out that vibe because I find it terribly embarrasing! i always get that vibe and i'm scared, like I don't want to be friendless forever, it's summer time and while everyone my age is out having fun, partying doing all the things that I would love to do, i'm sat at home alone. My mum & stepdad work in the day and when i'm home alone i just wish i could call someone up and ask them to chill or have my phone going off the hook with people asking to do things with me. I wish I had like a group of friends or a really close friend Like I have other 'issues' too i'm just so sad, and i havent done anything to not deserve to be happy, i think i deserve to be happy..i just want to be happy.
   
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Re: Desperate need of your help! :( - July 19th 2013, 10:53 PM

Oh i totally get exactly how you feel. i'm sitting home alone just like you i haven't seen anyone from school all summer. I know it's not the same but i'm almost always on cause like i said no life. I know it's not the same as real friends but at least you'll have someone to talk to, i've been here for a while and it really does help.


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Re: Desperate need of your help! :( - July 19th 2013, 10:58 PM

Hi Hollič. First off, welcome to TH. If you want to make friends here is a great place to start. Everyone here is super friendly. It's one of the best online forums I've ever been a part of.

I think the main problem here isn't what other people think of you but what you think of yourself. From what you've said, you kinda see yourself as a loner, someone who's awkward with people and not really wanted. Right? That's called a "negative core belief" aka something you believe to be true about yourself that likely isn't true. As humans, we pay attention to things that confirm our beliefs. It's just the way it goes. If you think life sucks you"ll only see negative things and life will suck. If you see yourself as unlikable you'll think people don't like you which will cause you to act weird and isolate yourself and people probably won't like you. So maybe people aren't giving out those vibes and it's all in your head. It's possible. Either way, try to start fresh. Let go of any bad relationships you've had in your past. You are a likable person! If you want friends you are capable of having them. Stay positive and just act natural. You don't need to try to be someone you're not or act really bubbly. Just be confident and hold your head up and you should be fine. I hope this is someone helpful.


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Re: Desperate need of your help! :( - July 21st 2013, 05:19 PM

Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

I am an introvert. As such, it takes a long time for me to build strong friendships with other people. I need to spend a lot of time around them before I can begin to open up and express myself fully. Something I struggled with for many years was the belief that no one cared about me, because no one ever reached out to me. What I discovered is that I need to be the one to initiate contact. I can't wait around all day, expecting people to think of me. I need to be the one to call people.

Of course, if you don't know many people, you'll probably feel anxious about calling the same people over and over again... so get out of the house and meet new people! Are you passionate about any causes? You could join a local non-profit organization and fight for something you believe in, while getting to know fellow volunteers.

I wish there was an easier way for you to make friends, but frankly, you need to be the one who takes the brave first steps... several steps, actually, because strangers aren't going to warm up to you right away. It takes time to create a strong friendship, so keep trying! Think positive thoughts, as the previous poster said, because if you believe you're unworthy of having good friends, your insecurity will be picked up on by others, and they'll be less inclined to befriend you.






   
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