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malikslover Offline
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Unhappy My mom got married behind my backů - July 20th 2013, 12:29 AM

So my parents have been divorced for 6 years. My dad is at the age where he can't get a girlfriend.

Anyways. Here's where the good stuff starts.

So my mom is one of those people that just go out with a guy for the gifts, kisses, f**ks, and then just leaves.
Recently, she met a guy online. And, well, the first time they met in REAL LIFE, they did the deed. Yep.

So I listen in to all their Skype calls and phone calls and read their texts when she's not around. (A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I just do it to protect myself) So I know everything.

For a whole week, she was out of town visiting him. And on my last day of school, my dad picked me up. And she didn't get home until about 9pm. And honestly, I've always been suspicious.
A few weeks later, they Skype AGAIN and I listen in. He says something along the lines of "16 days of happiness" so of course I count back. And it's the exact same day my dad picked me up on my last day of school. Then when she was in the shower a few nights later, I read her texts. They actually got married. Behind my back. They haven't even known each other for a year.

Sure enough, she wears a wedding ring now. On her ring finger. And not too long ago, I was listening and he's moving in. The thing is, I have the WORST trust issues, especially with guys. (Not trying to be sexist) My past with guys hasn't been the best. So automatically, he thinks I hate him. And that lets me know that he's quick at making assumptions. So of course, he's planning to move in.

But they haven't told me any of this. I find out on my own. I've had depression for a while now, and this makes it worse. They think I'm stupid. My mom has litterally said that she couldn't give a sh*t about me.

So they've been doing all this behind my back. It hurts. It really does. The relationship with my dad isn't the greatest, and I can't count on my mom anymore. She tells EVERYTHING to him. So I keep it to myself. Which I have for the past 2 years now. And P.L.E.A.S.E don't say anything like "just talk to her about it" because she will take it the completely wrong way, and somehow end up blaming it on me.

School is starting soon, and I'm thinking of moving in with my friend, Carley, if he moves in. That's if both of our mom's agree.

I honestly don't know what to do. And I'm sick and tired of the lies. Should I keep it to myself until she decides to grow up and tell me about it? And when he moves in, should I live with my friend. And my friend lives about 20 minutes away from where my mom lives. And she's closer to our school. So it'd be easier.
I need as many replies as I can on this, i'm so lost. Please help, I don't know what the hell to do anymore…

Last edited by malikslover; July 20th 2013 at 09:28 PM.
   
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Jovial. Offline
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Re: My mom got married behind my backů - July 20th 2013, 04:53 AM

Hey there sweetie.

Things like this can be rough. Even more so when you have trust issues, and those that you should be trusting make it almost impossible time and time again. I don't think that your mom should of gotten married without telling you. She might try to say that it is her life and her choices, but being that you live with her and that you are her child she should have at least given you the courtesy of at least letting you know.

I've been in the same boat though, so I completely understand. Almost two years ago, my mom told me that her boyfriend was moving in. I told her that I didn't approve and that it wasn't a stable environment to have him around with the kids. He moved in and then about two months later. She ran to the peace of justice and got married, and didn't tell me. I found out because I went to use the computer and when I loaded the home screen there where chat logs between the two of them about how special there wedding night had been.

I know that you said that you don't really want to talk to her about it, but I think that it's important that she knows and that she knows how it has affected you, and how him moving in could affect you. If you can't verbally say it, how about writing her a letter and leaving it where she might read it? Or sending her an e-mail? Just anything that will get your point across and make it less intimidating for yourself.

As far as moving in with your friend. I think that is completely up to you and your friend and both your parents. I think that if it is a better and safer environment and all parties are okay with it, than it might be worth a shot. However, I think it is important to understand that people are completely different people once you are living with them, because you see more of them and you are constantly with them, so be aware that your friendship may change. \

I hope that some of this helped. If you need anything else feel free to let us know, and you are always welcome to shoot me a PM. I'm usually on the site at least a few times a day and have a pretty quick response turn around. Take care. <3




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