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my parents dont want me to go to college out of state - July 22nd 2013, 04:25 AM

Okay, so I'm starting my senior year this September and I've been looking are colleges around America. I don't really want to stay in the state I'm in so I was looking for one out of state and I found one I really like. I email the university and got sent a huge booklet with school education and major. Then a few weeks after they sent me discs which showed what the school did. I really liked the university. So I sat down with my parent and started to discuss over college. I showed them the booklet and discs with a lot of excitement. And then they just crush my hopes. They told me to find a college in my state. They told me that I could not leave the state. They told me they wouldn't help pay unless it was a college in state or only a few hours out of state. The university. I like is in California. I live in Connecticut. Ever since I showed them, they have tried to get me to find a college. In state. They even tried guilt tripping me.

My mother is very sick and can barely walk. My father works from 6 to late at night. My two sisters tend to disappear for hours and I'm the one left to take care of her. It pisses me off. Why? Well because I'm the only one that does housework. That takes care of everyone. My sisters don't help with anything. My father gets home and starts yelling about how I do nothing. Of course I would be fed up with it. So now that I found a nice school far away from them, they start freaking out. I hate it because I feel like I should be able to be free to chose where I want to go to school.


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Re: my parents dont want me to go to college out of state - July 22nd 2013, 03:57 PM

The position you're in must be very hard for you. Looking from the perspective of your parent, if your mum is very ill and you're the one who takes care of her I think this gives her the largest reason to want you to stay above all else because she fears no one else will take care of her. Your father wants to earn enough money for your family to help pay for things like bills etc. Having been in a similar position to you where I'd wanted to go and do a lot of things but when I was younger, my family never wanted me to go anywhere that was far from home. It made me feel so very trapped to the point of depression and loneliness and it was sometimes so unbearable. How do you feel about talking to your sisters and asking them if they could take some of the load from you?

It's such an incredibly high amount of responsibility to have to take care of someone who is extremely ill and it's also very time consuming as well as being both mentally and physically draining. I think this for you is something to be proud of! Try working it out between your sisters in trying to share the load or even talking with your father or maybe even your mum too because otherwise you'll be stuck in this position for a very long time. However, remember also that until you're 18/21 legally you're still under their parental consent and they have to take responsibility for you but here's your job to reassure them you're quite well mature enough to be responsible and that you could easily come home during breaks in the academic year to come and see them. Your dad might also have issues with money which is why he may be unwilling to pay for university. Some universities cost as much as from $10-20,000 and that is a lot of cash to be forking out. To help your dad with costs you could try and find a part-time job and save up all the money you've earned in helping to pay for education fees, textbooks etc because those can cost a lot too. Remember that in order to win them over, you must also see things from their side of the story, be realistic and be mature, then maybe your parents will allow you to get into the university you've been wanting to be in.


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