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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Question Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - July 25th 2013, 09:26 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Basically, I'm gonna cut to the chase here. My dad and I have NEVER had a good relationship. He doesn't take my depression seriously and expects me to have an answer for everything wrong with me. He never approves of me dating or liking anyone, he's way in my business but when I try to talk to him he doesn't want to hear about my girl problems, and he has the temper of... he has no temper.

Here's the thing.....
Last week, I got sunburned horribly. Like, really really badly. So badly, that the only thing that could really help the pain was vinegar. After I took a shower, he came in and said he was going to rub some on my arms, legs, stomach, whatever. I was only in a towel, and long story short, he decided to do my whole body, meaning he touched places on me I guess I didn't want to be touched... ever.... by my dad. Like, not only did he see them, he touched them. Urg...

Since that day, he has been acting so... different. Like, there is suddenly no limits or boundaries because of what happened that day. For example, he will knock on my door and I will yell back that I have barely any clothes on, and he comes in anyway, and says that he is "just looking at my sunburn" which has pretty much almost healed over. He hugs me, and kisses my head, and this is REALLY weird for him. He has touched my ass, maybe.... 4 times now in the last 5 days. I don't remember the reasons why, or if there was any reason. It isn't just there though, he'll grab my arms or.... etc.

Also, it isn't just physical. He talks to me different too. He makes comments about my body, or about my bras or things, he says dirtier jokes around me when he has NEVER done that before...I don't know. It is weird...

I'm wondering here if this is just normal, like with my coming of age, I'm almost 16 and I'm like still developing but I'm not doing bad, or is it just father and daughter getting closer in their relationship because honestly I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this.... he acts closer to me and more "fond" of me than he does about my mom. That's what I'm using to judge all of this....

I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting but obviously I'm not going to talk about this anywhere else but TeenHelp....

any thoughts or advice? if not that's okay too...
   
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Re: Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - July 26th 2013, 02:20 PM

Hey there!

I'm sorry to hear that you've been through this. What he's doing definitely doesn't sound normal and it needs to be put to a stop now. I would get him to stop either by telling him directly or going to your mom or another adult that you can trust. Either way he needs to stop and more then likely get some help. I hope I've helped some and I hope everything works out!
   
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Re: Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - July 26th 2013, 05:16 PM

You should DEFIANTLY tell him that you are not okay with this. If he doesn't stop, immediately tell another adult, because this isn't okay. Even if he's your father, treating you this way is not right. Treating you the way he is is NOT a thing that a father is supposed to do. He needs to realized that you need your space and privacy, especially since you're a girl and he needs to stop. But if you don't tell him about this, he's going to think that this is okay. And it's not.
Good luck, I hope I helped.


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Re: Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - July 26th 2013, 06:39 PM

I definitely don't think that this sounds normal AT ALL. I think you need to tell your dad that you've noticed this shift in his behaviour and that it's making you uncomfortable, you also might want to talk to a trusted adult who can help monitor the situation for you. I hope that helps




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - August 4th 2013, 05:09 AM

I've known families with less boundaries, and everything turns out okay, but you're a pretty girl so you have a right to be concerned
   
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Re: Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - August 13th 2013, 03:33 PM

So has this gotten better or worse?
   
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Re: Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - August 13th 2013, 05:52 PM

He has NO right to be touching you in any sort of inappropriate way at all. You have to put a stop to this soon or something bad could happen. I hope he stops!


Life goes on. People move on. It'll be okay.
   
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Re: Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - August 14th 2013, 08:53 PM

i think you should tell someone right now. you could talk to your dad, but i would got to someone else first and get them to go with you to talk to him, just in case it doesn't go well. good luck!
   
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Re: Just wondering something about my dad and our relationship... - August 15th 2013, 10:21 PM

Hey, came to update I guess Its gotten a little better, especially since the sunburn has healed. Although, a couple days ago, I had this problem with my side, and that was an excuse for my shirt to come off... I don't know. I think I was probably overreacting. Our conversations have gotten less and less, I don't really know why... anyways. Yeah.
   
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