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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Exclamation She did not! - July 30th 2013, 05:48 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My "friend" had the nerve to tell me that it was the right thing to do to ignore me when I tried to commit suicide because she was scared. Then she told me I probably wouldn't have killed myself anyway. I cannot believe this. When she attempted a long time ago, I did everything for her. She tells me it's not the same thing and she was too scared to even say (or I should say text because she wasn't there) "don't". She won't apologize because she said its the right thing to do. Don't answer your suicidal friend, don't call them, don't call emergency, just leave them with another gaping hole where nobody cares, and then tell them they weren't going to do it anyway.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 06:01 AM

Nobody deserves to be treated like that by somebody they did so much for. Your friend's excuse is, don't be offended, but it is a weak one. I truly believe that your friend was afraid and didn't want to get involved because she has been suicidal in the past and did not want to trigger herself. You will have to forgive and forget, or leave this friend behind. Remember, even if she is not there for you and you feel betrayed by that, there are always others there for you if you are suicidal, like me and many others on this site. Never give up hope.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 06:07 AM

My friend was suicidal because her mom told her she couldn't see her boyfriend again. It's not an ongoing thing anymore.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 06:13 AM

Even if she doesn't feel suicidal right now, certain things can set off someone who has been suicidal in the past. She may be nervous for her own safety, even if she is unwilling to tell you. Instead, she made an excuse to you.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 06:15 AM

She doesn't have to tell me. Nothing I do upsets her. I know her too well, I know when she's upset and its not when she's going to her boyfriends to take pictures and tag them on Instagram. If I were her other friend, she would have said something. She has said something to her other friend before, before, just not to me.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 06:23 AM

Look, you may not be the problem, but helping someone else who has suicidal problems can trigger suicidal feelings in someone who formerly felt them. I have felt suicidal for the longest time, and sometimes I still do. Before, when it was really had, I couldn't deal with it when somebody tried to tell me their own problems. Now, I try to make my feelings into something beneficial for others, even if I can't help myself, but your friend may be struggling with feelings inside that she is too afraid to tell anyone or let show. I hid my depression from people for years, and I still hide it.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 06:33 AM

When she attempted suicide I had planned the day before to kill myself that day. I get that helping people with suicidal problems can bring it up in yourself, but that didn't stop me from trying to help her. How can that justify not sending one word in a text? I just don't see how I could over come that fear for her when we were barely friends and now she calls me her best friend and she's my only "friend" but she can't even text? (I'm not trying to be rude I'm just wondering)
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 06:36 AM

People are different. You may not understand her motivations now. You may not ever understand them. You may feel confused and betrayed by this one friend for a long time, but she could not help you with this, for reasons of her own. Even if you were willing to risk it all to help her, she may not be willing to do the same. This may not be because she things you're not a good enough friend. She is dealing with her own issues and struggles, and when the time is right, she will reveal them to you or someone else, but now you need to be patient with her and seek help else where.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 06:44 AM

Even if that's true, she doesn't have to tell me I wouldn't have died anyway like she was daring me to try it again.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 07:23 AM

She may not know how to deal with a friend dealing with these problems. By saying that, she could be trying to convince herself that there is no real problem.
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 01:01 PM

I agree with Lily here.
It may not make sense to you because you and her are two different people. She handles situations one way and you handle them another. I do not agree with her treating you like that however, some people do their best to avoid situations that could trigger feelings of circumstances they have dealt with.
I know you are really upset by this and confused however the best thing you can do for yourself right now is reach out to other friends or family to get support and help.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: She did not! - July 30th 2013, 02:20 PM

Sadly, there are a lot of people who simply can't handle that kind of pressure. Do I feel she was "right" to do what she did? No, because even if she was being triggered, she had a responsibility as your friend to do SOMETHING - for example, calling 911 and telling them about your plan. If she couldn't handle it, then she should have contacted someone else who could handle it. Now, that's all easy to say in hindsight... but in the heat of the moment, many people choke. Your friend may have been in the wrong, but I wouldn't hold it against her forever. If you feel the friendship is worth salvaging, give it time and try to come up with some alternatives. If she can't support you in this way, can she support you in other ways (for example, listening while you talk about other issues you're facing)? On your end, can you come up with a list of three or more other people who can support you when you're feeling suicidal? This can also include emergency services.






   
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