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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Justlonely Offline
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Fell for my best friend - July 30th 2013, 07:16 AM

Does anyone know how to be able to be around someone that you have extreme feelings for or get over them? I've really liked my best friend for over a year it use to be just a little crush but the past month or so the feelings just skyrocketed. He does know I like him just not exactly how much and he has a girlfriend. But anytime I'm around him all I want to do is hug and kiss him and just have him be mine, but that's not going to happen so I just get extremely sad. How am I suppose to hang with my best friend with such strong feelings and not being able to do anything about them?
   
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Re: Fell for my best friend - July 31st 2013, 01:34 AM

Having feelings for someone who likes/loves someone else is a very hard thing to endure. I want you to know you are not alone. I would be very confident in saying that almost everyone is has been or will be in a similar situation as to yours.

I was in a situation extremely similar to yours - and it lasted 4 years before I got over her. 4 years of crying, pain, depression, happiness, and hope. But eventually I realized that in the end, it will either work out, or wont. Why am I going to sit here and be upset, while she/he is out there being happy? You have three choices in this situation:

1) Continue on with what you are doing: Hanging out with him, but forcing yourself to deal with the pain/hurt of not belonging to him right now (Please note: often this choice leads to a broken friendship).

2) Distance yourself away from him alittle. Maintain a friendship, but give yourself alittle space to move on to other people. (Please note: this can either work, or not work; there usually is no middle).

3) Move on. However to move on you need to make a hard decision. To fully move on, you need to discontinue the friendship (you can either tell him what you are doing, and why, or leave it be).


You need to do whats best for you - so think long and hard about what path you want to go down. Because if you do remain friends and talk once in awhile, those feelings will likely never go away.
Someone that means a lot to me asked me this when I was in the same position you are. It meant a lot to me, and helped me deal with & process my situation:


"Why keep waiting for someone you may never have a chance with? Move on; because in all honesty, he (your friend) already did."



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Fell for my best friend - July 31st 2013, 02:11 AM

I have tried to move on but I can't just stop our friendship so we still end up talking so I can't get over him. I can't give up my best friend just cause I have feelings for him, and he doesn't want me to either he's tried his best to make it easier for me even. Argh why are feelings so stupid.
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: Fell for my best friend - July 31st 2013, 05:52 PM

Well, if you don't think it's a good idea to move on (option #3), or distance yourself away from him (option #2), then you have no other choice but to take option 1. Trust me, I have used all 3 options with different people and they are all very hard. Option #1 is probably the most painful; so make sure that you are ready to 'wait it out', and be ready for the ups and downs. Fortunately, in the end, sometimes option #1 turns out good and a relationship is formed with that person. Other times, it doesn't turn out so good.

Stay strong, keep your head up, and keep pushing forward! Goodluck!


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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