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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
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When people ask for rides... - August 19th 2013, 02:25 AM

Ok, so i have a car and since i am a student a lot of my friends don't have cars (not here, a lot of students back home do, but different attitude towards vehicles I guess).

Mostly my friends are pretty good about it but sometimes they ask me for rides and it just pisses me off a little. I know sometimes that a person needs things done that are harder to get to and it can be hard NOT to ask the friend who has a vehicle for the occasional favour and if I friend isn't abusing this (ex. they ask me once in a blue moon) and I'm not busy I usually don't mind much, especially if they have the decency to be considerate of my time and ask me well ahead, like at least the day before if not sooner...

But is it wrong of me to find it annoying and be frustrated by it any how? i don't want to be a bad friend and my access to a vehicle is one of the ways I can be helpful if need be, and as long as they reciprocate and aren't abusing it it's not like it's a big deal... But sometimes I feel like they shouldn't ask at all because I didn't get a car so that I chauffeur others to their obligations/errands. If you ask me, if someone doesn't have a car they should really be trying to do things that they can get to without having to constantly rely on the generosity of their friends favours.

The friend i am thinking of is usually good, but it's like she asked me to take her to a dance class, her friend in the class with her who she usually carpools with isn't going due to being out of town or something. It's not a big deal cause she pretty much never asks for rides and I could of said no and she'd just of asked someone else OR just not have gone so it wasn't like I felt obligated... But it's still annoying nonetheless since I now have to arrange my schedule around her shit... And I think she's under the impression I am taking her to a second class which I never agreed to, I only agreed to the one... And I'm going to tell her no for the second one, of course, but only cause I agreed to the ONE class and NOT to be her fucking chauffeur for the whole week and I have other things to get done, even if I didn't I don't need to spend all my free time being the chauffeur (assuming I was down for both classes is a little presumptuous any how so I hope she doesn't really think that)

Am I in my right to find people asking for rides, no matter how rare it is, annoying? It makes me feel like a bitch if I find it annoying... Although there is the odd case that won't bug me in the slightest but it tends to be the friends who ask for only VERY important unavoidable things (like a serious medical appointment/emergency or needing to pick up important documents that can't wait etc.) and would offer something on the spot to make up for it. And I feel bad if I exaggerate my busy-ness in order to get out of it too without being like "no, I just don't want to"... But maybe I am not being unreasonable at all, after all, like I said, i didn't get a car so that OTHERS could be benefited by it. But I dunno.. I'm just not sure if I am in the wrong to fine it annoying




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Re: When people ask for rides... - August 19th 2013, 08:05 AM

I understand you point, maybe try sitting down with your friends and telling them how you feel about it. Its not wrong for you to get annoyed about them asking for rides after all it is your car, but if they only ask once in a blue moon then I guess that's ok. Just make sure they don't abuse you having a car. Hope this helps, feel free to PM or VM if you want to talk






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