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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Justlonely Offline
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Friend acting... Distant? - September 27th 2013, 04:40 AM

So my best guy friend has been so distant lately. We barely talk anymore and when we do it sometimes seems its only cause he feels like he has to. And when we text he either never replies, stops mid conversation or the convo is the general what are you up to but nothing else.We use to be so close but now he doesnt ever ask to hang with me. We dont even hug anymore. Just by the way before this during the summer he found out i liked him and it was awkward for a bit because he has had a gf for the past 2 years but we got past that because he really still wanted to be friends. So yeah just lately hes not around anymore and our conversations are crap the only time our convo is longer then 5 minutes is when he starts talking about my mental health. So i cant help thinking hes being all distant because he thinks im a basketcase or something. Ive tried asking whats going on but he always says nothing and says he sees no difference in the friendship. Any ideas on why hes so distant lately? Thanks.
   
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Re: Friend acting... Distant? - September 28th 2013, 01:03 AM

Well, don't think this is just something you're dealing with. I think almost everyone will deal with a similar problem. I have two possible reasons for why he is doing this.

1) He is trying to shy away from you to maintain the integrity of his relationship (maybe she found out, and doesn't want him to talk to you). There could be tons of reason as to why he did this - but the point is he feels it's best to be distant to better help his relationship.

2) You just grew apart. Now, this is the most common one, and also usually the more confusing one. Recently, I had a girl in my life in which we talked every single day for 3 years, via phone calls, texting, twitter, and snapchat. Eventually, the conversations started to die down a bit. Not too noticeable at the time, but they did in fact decrease. Then it got to the stage when we talked briefly per day, then per few days, and then per week. We didn't even notice the distance until it reached only talking to each other once a week or so. We both desperately tried to fit each other in ours days, and see each other as much as we can, but we both still faded. It reached the point of talking to each other once every few weeks. Now, this has happen to me three or four times with different girls, and I know it happens to everyone. I guess you have people in your life in which are meant to be there for days, weeks, months, years, and your whole life. Although it's a very sad process to gain distance with some people that you really care about, it may actually be necessary. Also remember, they may come back! One of the four girls I lost connection with, I now talk to everyday again. We just happened to reconnect and resumed our friendship.

I wish I had a fullproof reason as to why this happens other than blaming it on time, and growing up - but I don't.

So I'm not sure why you and your friend are gaining distance between each other, but most likely it is because of reason #2. Letting go is a hard lesson to process and actually accept; but it's also a very important one to learn.

Keep your head up, my friend!


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Friend acting... Distant? - September 28th 2013, 04:10 AM

Well ive thought about it alot but it just seems really weird. I know that his gf doesnt know about it and hes been really good with it all. As for its probably just drifting apart i guess so? I mean to me it still doesnt seem right jus because we are "best friends" and when i bring up that our friendship is heading downhill, he gets all weird. He says that he doesnt see it and he would never let us stop being friends and that he wants me around. Yet he doesnt show it. I dont know maybe im just seeing it differently.
   
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Re: Friend acting... Distant? - September 30th 2013, 04:26 AM

It's hard to really process the situation since you're in the middle of it. Later down the line, you will be able to glance back and fully understand the process of you guys fading.

It's a very unfortunate thing as I said before. Just remember, things happen for a reason - and sometimes change is necessary.

You can always feel free to PM me if you ever have any other questions, or updates on the situation and I will gladly talk to you more. I know I may not be 'comforting' or anything near that, however it's important to give you my true opinion on the matter (based on my previous experiences).



Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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