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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Anxious - September 29th 2013, 08:45 PM

I done something I'm not proud of and my family know however they promised not to tell my mum because she would kill me however I'm so scared I can't think straight because if she found out I would be grounded for life I don't know what to do to stop worrying
   
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Re: Anxious - September 29th 2013, 09:39 PM

Hey there,

Well, you have a few options here, at least in my opinion.

One option is just telling your mom yourself, rather than risk one of your family members letting it slip. I don't think they'll tell since they did promise you, but you know how sometimes things can come out on accident. I know that it may be scary, but she may be more appreciative when finding out through you than someone else. If you pick this option, be sure to explain everything fully to her, such as why you went and did whatever it was that you did, and explain to her that you're really upset and not proud at all that you did it. You can ask her to work something out with you about it. If you feel at all guilty about not telling her, this can also clear the guilt.

Of course, you can always confirm with your family one more time that they're not going to tell, but after you confirm it with them, it's probably best not to keep bringing it up, so that way all of you can sort of slowly forget or at least come to terms with it and move on with your lives.

But, if you really can't tell her, try and find things to do to take up some of your time so you're not continuing to think about the incident and her finding out about it. Maybe you can write, do art, or make music to get out some of the pent up thoughts and feelings. Exercise is a great way to release stress. Or, you can even hang out with some friends and other family members, eat your favorite goodies, read some books, watch some movies, or do a hobby. In other words, keep your mind focused on other things. That way, you won't be thinking about it, and you'll also be so busy doing other things, you won't be able to accidentally make it slip.

So, I think the two /main/ options you have are to either do things to keep your mind off things and distract yourself until you feel as if you are in the clear for her ever finding out, or just tell her straight up so you won't have to worry about finding out, since she'll already know. Other people may come around with other options, but that's what I think!

Best of luck!

-Dez


   
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Re: Anxious - September 30th 2013, 04:36 AM

Dez gave you some really great advice.

Sometimes, although we don't want too - it's best to be straight forward with things, and to tell the truth. I know most parents, and most authority figures would much rather hear the 'issue' from the direct person, than from a third party (ie: your family). So, you need to weigh the pros and cons of the situation. Letting your mom know of the problem/infraction will make you feel better, lift a heavy weight off your shoulders, relieve the stress of her finding out from someone else, and give your the ability to fully and successfully move on. Sometimes even writing things on paper and giving it to the person is a good way to go about it. This is definitely something you need to think about.

If you decide not to tell her (which in my personal opinion you should), than maybe Dez's recommendation is best. Confirm with your family that they wont tell, and then after they agree/promise you, you can officially move on (ie: don't bring it back up; let it go).

We all make mistakes, and we all do things we aren't proud of (I know I have). The best way I've always handle things (and I've tried both options), is to just be honest and tell the truth. Sure, the punishment may be brutal; but the decrease of stress, and the ability to move on is a great feeling to have. We are all human, and no one is perfect.


Keep your head up and stay strong!


Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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