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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Lu82 Offline
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Why is he acting weird now? - October 7th 2013, 01:45 AM

Okay, so i was dating a guy for a month and everything was great( or at least that is what i thought) Then he was away with his family for a whole week and we didnt hang out for two straight weekends I told him i didnt wanted to hang out with him anymore because he was to busy.I really didnt mean it. Then i apologized about the whole thing. He ignore me for almost two weeks on facebook . When he finally answered he told me he couldnt change the way he was and that he didnt wanted to make me upset, but still wanted to be friends and see me. But hes acting weird i dont know how to describe it. I do want to be friends like he said. You think he doesn't want anything with me?Shall i talk to him about it or shall i just leave it?



Guenhwyvar roared a fourth time and darted off through the grove, a black arrow aimed at the heart of doom.

Last edited by PSY; October 11th 2013 at 04:04 AM. Reason: Moved thread to the Friends and Family forum.
   
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Re: Why is he acting weird now? - October 8th 2013, 02:40 AM

I personally think that you should talk to him about it so that you know what he actually wants from you, especially since he's been acting weird as you've claimed. Although from the looks of it, it sounds like he's made himself clear that he wants to be friends and still see you, so in my opinion, I think you should be fine once you settle things with him by talking to him. Best of luck to you.




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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Lu82 Offline
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Re: Why is he acting weird now? - October 8th 2013, 08:11 PM

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Originally Posted by friendlyguynextdoor View Post
I personally think that you should talk to him about it so that you know what he actually wants from you, especially since he's been acting weird as you've claimed. Although from the looks of it, it sounds like he's made himself clear that he wants to be friends and still see you, so in my opinion, I think you should be fine once you settle things with him by talking to him. Best of luck to you.
Thats what im trying to do, but we havent hang out as "friends" since we broke the other thing off, and i personally dont want to do it through facebook or phone, I want to talk to him personally, but how? I invited him to do something together and he's not sure about if he''ll be able to yet.I just hope he can, so we can talk. I really want to be his friend, he's got qualities really like.



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Re: Why is he acting weird now? - October 8th 2013, 08:50 PM

All guys do this once in awhile. I use to like a guy and he did a thing similar to this. Don't let it bother you and eventually he will come running back to you. Well, probably.
   
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Re: Why is he acting weird now? - October 8th 2013, 09:25 PM

I think we want what we can't have really plays a role in this one. The truth is you can communicate with him, but maybe it might be for the best not to. Maybe there is a reason and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings over it. He should come clean about it though, I agree. I discovered at an early age that sometimes you might never have closure. Hopefully, he can talk to you in a civil manner and you can figure this out, but remember to expect the unexpected while doing so.




   
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Re: Why is he acting weird now? - October 9th 2013, 12:23 AM

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Originally Posted by Lu82 View Post
Thats what im trying to do, but we havent hang out as "friends" since we broke the other thing off, and i personally dont want to do it through facebook or phone, I want to talk to him personally, but how? I invited him to do something together and he's not sure about if he''ll be able to yet.I just hope he can, so we can talk. I really want to be his friend, he's got qualities really like.
It's actually a good idea to talk to him in person rather than through communication through mobile devices. As for talking to him, just be straightforward with him and to the point. Don't be stammering off when you do talk to him. Tell him what you want to know from him, and all I gotta say is just be prepared for this situation to go either way. It could go for the better, or for the worse. Like another poster mentioned, he could just be acting weird because maybe he doesn't want to come forth and be clean about it. I hope for your sake, things will turn out for the better.




“The main thing is realizing that even if you feel terrible for a while, that’s not how you’re going to feel the whole time. . . . Things change if you just keep moving.” - Gary Vaynerchuk
   
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Re: Why is he acting weird now? - October 11th 2013, 12:42 AM

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Originally Posted by SamMarie View Post
I think we want what we can't have really plays a role in this one. The truth is you can communicate with him, but maybe it might be for the best not to. Maybe there is a reason and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings over it. He should come clean about it though, I agree. I discovered at an early age that sometimes you might never have closure. Hopefully, he can talk to you in a civil manner and you can figure this out, but remember to expect the unexpected while doing so.
Hurt my feelings in what way? If he thinks im still interested in him and that's why hes acting like this,because he thinks im going to be upset about him just being friends, that is not the case. He already told me he wanted to be friends so ill be that. I really want to start a good friendship with him because we can be really good friends.



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Re: Why is he acting weird now? - October 11th 2013, 04:03 AM

Try to look at things from his point-of-view. He began dating you, and after a couple of weeks, you essentially told him "if I can't have you as often as I want, then I don't want you at all." Most people, and ESPECIALLY men, do NOT like to be controlled, and your statement probably seemed very controlling from his point-of-view. To be quite honest, I don't blame him for backing away from you. That probably seemed like a HUGE red flag coming from you.

Unfortunately, you are now faced with a classic predicament. If you pursue him and try to make amends, he may feel like you're still trying to control him, and that will push him even further away (even if your intentions are good). If you back off and give him space, then he may lose interest and neglect the friendship. What may be best at this point is to meet face-to-face and briefly, concisely state what you meant to say (which includes owning up to how bad that statement sounded), and that you will accept whatever he wants for the friendship at this point. Ask for his honesty, and humbly accept his decision.






   
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Re: Why is he acting weird now? - October 12th 2013, 05:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PSY View Post
Try to look at things from his point-of-view. He began dating you, and after a couple of weeks, you essentially told him "if I can't have you as often as I want, then I don't want you at all." Most people, and ESPECIALLY men, do NOT like to be controlled, and your statement probably seemed very controlling from his point-of-view. To be quite honest, I don't blame him for backing away from you. That probably seemed like a HUGE red flag coming from you.


Unfortunately, you are now faced with a classic predicament. If you pursue him and try to make amends, he may feel like you're still trying to control him, and that will push him even further away (even if your intentions are good). If you back off and give him space, then he may lose interest and neglect the friendship. What may be best at this point is to meet face-to-face and briefly, concisely state what you meant to say (which includes owning up to how bad that statement sounded), and that you will accept whatever he wants for the friendship at this point. Ask for his honesty, and humbly accept his decision.
Well, that is exactly what im trying to do. Talk to him face to face but how in the world am i going to do that? When i dont even get a chance. I dont know why he said he wanted to be friends afterwards, I would rather him said I dont want to have anything with you because i think you are just to crazy for me and I would'n be trying to approach him as anything right now.Im not even trying to get with him in some other way.Thanks for your advice



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