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Jess~ Offline
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Name: jess
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cant make people like me to save my life - October 16th 2013, 04:09 AM

For some reason...it just seems like people just don't like me. And I mean specifically me...out of all the people in school, people don't seem to like me. Sure, i have a 'group'. But it is full of, I kid you not, total. Complete. losers. I have two people I really like in that group. the other two can go lie in a ditch for all I care. I ddon't know what's wrong with me. i mean, I'm at least acquaintances wwith all my classmates...but I don't know how to go up a step to being friends.
And I don't know how to hang out with them while still having my group. I mean, it really is MY group. I'm the leader...they look up to me because I'm...well...funny, spunky, whatever. i don't know. But I feel tied down to them...like I HAVE to stay with them.

How do I make more friends at school? It's not like the first few weeks where everyone's all open and friendly. So do I just single out one person, get to know them, and hang with them and their group? Or find a group I wanna be with and hang out with them? I could really probably do this if it weren't for my one friend, who's most likely retarded or has some...problems. she scares everyone off because she's annoying and arrogant. but she follows me everywhere. The whole group hates her, really. But we can't get rid of her...

I think I could make great friends if only I knew what to say to them. and no one talks about the weather or school anymore, come on people. my class is full of dirty jokes, teasing, flirting, and just being plain old funny. Now how the heck do i do tthat?


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
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Re: cant make people like me to save my life - October 17th 2013, 12:36 AM

Hello, Jess.

Well to be quite honest, many individuals are different to what they are on the outside to the inside; meaning they often act something they are not, to fit in to a crowd that they define as 'Good' 'Stable' 'Helpful'



Just going to quote a few things you've said

1. 'the other two can go lie in a ditch for all I care. I ddon't know what's wrong with me.'


2. 'im the leader...they look up to me because I'm...well...funny, spunky, whatever. i don't know.'


3.Or find a group I wanna be with and hang out with them? I could really probably do this if it weren't for my one friend, who's most likely retarded or has some...problems. she scares everyone off because she's annoying and arrogant. but she follows me everywhere. The whole group hates her, really. But we can't get rid of her...'


Well you really need to make yourself seem like a Good person and a Helpful person, both of which are what friendship is about.


My point is; as in quote one, you need to realize that You should never think harshly or badly or infact; hostile to those around you. Even if they are disliked.


IN quote two, Leadership in a group doesn't exist unless the group itself knows where it stands; point being said that everyone has their own views on eachother, Positive views.

And Quote Three, Well, even if this person has problems, you should still be Nice, caring, even if she is arrogant or anything else.

These are just examples.

What you really need to do; is to stick with the group you've got but learn to like eachother and ALL get along; even the weak points.

It'd be harder to find another group of people, you'll have to re-socialize and then, you'll discover more weak-points.


But ofcourse this is my personal advice, you may chose a different route, but my personal points for you are

1.Utility. (Making yourself Needed to people i,e make them happy, laugh, smile, Help them, etc)

2. Persistence (Always going the extra-mile for your friends, whether it be doing something nice like; buying them something, or just simply helping them when you're busy.

3.Friendliness (Being friendly to Everyone, Even if they are Hostile)



And you don't have to talk 'Dirty, flirty, teasing, jokes' Or anything like that to fit In. You'd have to be doing something that your not use too or makes you feel uncomfortable. Which i'd advise leaving behind, and finding some Overall nicer people.





   
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