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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Mandiie.Love Offline
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Name: Mandiie McFarland
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Unhappy "Best friend" - October 25th 2013, 06:00 AM

So, I live with this girl, and have for nearly 9 months. We have our disagreements, but by the end of it, she always comes back to me. Well, for the last two months, it's been really hard for me to be home. My boyfriend wants to stay the night with me, and her mom won't let us, so we spend the night at my parents, and all the other time, I'm at work. My boyfriend and I are long distance, so I take advantage of the time we have together. She lacks in understanding because he's been around more often here lately. She's started getting more depression it seems, when so many things are going so well for her. She gets anything she wants, her parents show her tons of love, her boyfriend puts her as the first thing on her mind (even though she consistently cheats on him), and she's so insensitive. Here lately, I've started to understand why so many people don't like her. She's so incredibly mean to anyone she doesn't like, she has this tendency to make people feel bad for her, and she gets a rise out of it, even to her parents. She claims to have anxiety, and ptsd, but it's total bullshit. Or at least it seems. I usually have to hide my depression, anxiety, professionally diagnosed PTSD, and schizophrenia because if I don't, she treats me like a completely different human being, and acts like she doesn't want to be around me. She calls me her best friend, but acts like she doesn't give a fucking damn about me unless it's something that surrounds her. My depression and anxiety has gotten a hell of a lot worse since I've moved in with her. And I would move out, but I can't afford it. Also, I would move back in with my parents, but I can't. They can't afford it, and well, I'm 18. My cutting got worse when I first moved in, but now it's limited because I'm tired of visiting my mother and her pointing out the scars no matter how hard I try to hide it. I'm always depressed, and she's only part of it, but that's for another thread. Does anybody have any advice on how to just fucking deal? I'm tired of my best friend being a two faced whore, honestly.

And yes, I know I'm just as much of a horrible person for calling her all these things, but I'm SO FUCKING TIRED of holding all of this in...


PM or VM me at anytime. I check it every day. <3


~Welcome to Mandiie land. Where everything is a tad bit crazy, but she loves to help you. <3 Trust me, no matter what, judging is a word that isn't in my vocabulary. <3



Kiss me, lovely

Then walk away
Hug me tightly, beautiful
Then leave me.
:]
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
dragonblood Offline
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re: "Best friend" - October 25th 2013, 11:41 AM

If I were you I'd ditch her as soon as possible. It's obvious being with her isn't helping your depression or possible recovery so get the hell out of there immediately. I wonder how she became your best friend if she's so mean!?! Maybe one day she revealed her true self...

Anyway, if you have to live with her, just don't associate yourself with her or don't be her friend. Although losing a friend may be a loss, your friendship doesn't help anyone, you or her.


~the dragon one
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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re: "Best friend" - October 25th 2013, 04:13 PM

I would also say get out asap. Either find someone else to move in with, or offer to pay your parents some rent, which I know is something some people do. It sounds to me like staying there is very bad for your health and happiness.





I like to help, and give advice, but I can be brutally honest. Feel free to PM me if you want, for any reason. I have yet to find a topic that I will not talk about, regardless of how much, or little I know about the topic.

   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Chris Offline
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re: "Best friend" - October 26th 2013, 04:19 AM

Hi Mandiie. It sounds like you're in a tough position here. I have to agree with some of the above posts - it's time to find some way to get out of the situation. If your living conditions are getting to the point where your health is in the balance (and I would say it is) and your health related concerns are becoming more prominent, then you need to get out as soon as possible. Sure, you don't want to necessarily leave her and end the friendship - but your health and your well-being needs to come first.

I understand that you may not have another place to stay, but you should really sit down and look at your options (ie: where to live). Try to exhaust every option you have, and if you do and you still can't find a healthy place to live, then I would suggest you sit down and talk to a professional about serious tips of how to improve your current living environment (with your friend). But again, I would like to stress the importance of trying to find a new and healthy place to live. Only after that should you try to 'deal with' the current living environment.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
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Re: "Best friend" - October 27th 2013, 03:08 PM

I definitely agree with the above posters. You need to find a way to leave. I know it isn't easy when living alone might not be an option and when it's mid semester. I guess mid semester only applies if you are a student but it can definitely be hard to find roommates right now. But definitely put word out with people you know that you'd like to move, say by December or January and try something like that, and if they or someone they know wants a roommate then you're set.
You could also try moving in with your family and just contribute to living expenses. If they're not able to take care of you then you can still pay for your part until something better comes up.

You really shouldn't have to compromise your own well being in order to put up with her treatment. So if leaving is exhausted I definitely agree with Chris in finding another option somewhere.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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