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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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L3@h Offline
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Name: Leah
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Location: Australia

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So can I choose my life or? - November 2nd 2013, 10:59 AM

Ok so what I don't get, is why are our lives decided for us the moment we are born? We're born, forced to go to school, then straight into uni and then expected to get married?

My family, including my parents AND sister are judgemental to the point that I don't want to live with them anymore. Drop out of school before year 12? hey they think you're a dropout thats getting nowhere in life. I take a gap year before going into uni? I'm a lazy fuck, should be studying and making something of my life. I'm single at the age of 18? wtf are you a lesbian? You should be dating, meeting and chatting up guys at your age. You don't feel like going out and partying? You're a teenager, why aren't you getting drunk and having endless, pointless hookups that are defined as "a good time."
No one will EVER marry you, you don't even do the dishes! Fucking goddamn I left a fork in the sink, not a dead body. "You'll turn out just like your aunty, divorced with no job and can't even take care of themselves. Like you can talk, look at your own fucking life.
Sure my sister is dating, has her whole life planned out. Getting a degree in uni then hey she'll probably get married. That doesn't mean I'm going to turn out the same way. We're completely different people. I'm sick of following your stupid expectations.
I'm 18, done with school, I can choose what I do with my life thank you very much. If I want to volunteer in another country, I will volunteer, it does not mean I'm a useless piece of shit that does nothing with her life. The further I get from this family, the better, though Pluto wouldn't be far enough.
   
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Chris Offline
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Name: Chris
Age: 24
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Location: Illinios

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Re: So can I choose my life or? - November 2nd 2013, 07:00 PM

Hi Leah!

I can totally understand where you are coming from. My family, is a very judge-mental group of people who want us to following the time-line they lay out when we are born/kids. Luckily, I've always had a craving for an further education, so I didn't mind going to college. Maybe sometime I'll get my masters too - who knows. I'm not sure how it is from where you're from, but in the U.S. you practically have to have a 4 year college degree to get a good job. Sure, you can most definitely get low-income jobs with no degree, but to make $60,000+, with great benefits for your family, you typically need to have a 4 year degree.

If you feel it best not to go to college, not to date, or not to get married when they say so, then I would definitely support you with it. Being an individual is a very important thing and if you feel like they are trying to control too much of your life, I would try to find a way to get out of that environment and into one in which you can create your own unique lifestyle of living.

I hope things turn out in your favor. Keep your head up!


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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