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cubpurps Offline
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Confused on my parent's morals - November 16th 2013, 09:09 PM

Today when I was searching for red construction paper, I came across a sheet of paper that has completely confused me. It was a memoir my mom wrote. It was short, but it told me things I never knew about my family. I will try to briefly get you guys up to speed with my family: My biological dad died when I was 3, some say it was murder, but the police determined it as a suicide. For about 3 years my mom was extremely depressed and barely functioned, we mainly leaned on her siblings. For 3 years we lived with them. Then, my mom met Matt, and fell in love with him. They married and moved my sister and I with them to the other side of the U.S. I lived happily for about 10 years, but now I am realizing my parents are not the greatest of people... My stepdad had another wife before he met my mom, who died of cancer. Until now, I did not realize my step dad had KIDS with her. The story explained how my stepdad cut off contact with his own flesh and blood, and married my mom 6 months after his wife died. How could he do that? How could leave his own children in the dust after their mother just died. I am absolutely positive he has not seen them since their mother died. They never told me that he had kids. It is morally terrible he left his kids, and cut of contact. I don't know what to think, or even how to think. Am I making a bigger deal out of this than it is actually? Should I pretend it never happened? What should I do?

Last edited by cubpurps; November 16th 2013 at 09:31 PM.
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Re: Confused on my parent's morals - November 16th 2013, 09:53 PM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

I can understand why your mother's memoir would be so upsetting to you. If your stepfather really did cut off all contact with his children following his first wife's death, then that would be a horrible truth to accept! There is always more than one side to every story, though... and I think it would be a mistake to pretend you never read this memoir.

I would approach your mom and stepfather and request a family meeting in order to discuss something of great importance. Try to "keep your cool" when talking to your parents about what you read - saying hateful things and throwing around accusations won't make this situation any better. Listen to what they both have to say, and be sure to express your thoughts about the issue as well. You may have disagreements, but you can still voice those disagreements in a respectful manner.

Good luck, and feel free to keep us updated on your situation!

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