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Alicia124 Offline
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my friend feels alone - November 25th 2013, 04:49 PM

Its been awhile since I've been on here probably 2 years or something maybe but I've come back for some advice about my best friend she is so beautiful and smart and nice and for one she doesn't see it and two the problem right now she feels so alone and I don't know how to help her right now she tells me I'm her only friend but I know so many people who care about her but she only foccuses on the people that ignore her how do I get her to feel happy that she is living and that it shouldn't matter the about of people in your life that are your so called friends but that having only one or two true friends is not uncommon and I feel like she is trapped and feels so alone and idk I just want to help her so bad I mean she has always struggled with this and its not enough for me to talk to her about it because things get good for her and then not so much after awhile and I'd wish shed realize that the bad doesn't last forever and one you don't have to acknowledge any negativity and two that she can just be herself and for her to recognize the people who care about her in her life
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Re: my friend feels alone - November 25th 2013, 06:10 PM

How old is your friend? Sometimes, when you don't have as many life experiences to draw from, it can be difficult to see how things will get better with time. For example, when someone is experiencing their first break-up, or first argument with their best friend, or first failing grade, it may be difficult for them to believe there is any hope for a better outcome. Once you have experienced a few romantic relationships, though, or learned more about the kinds of friends you want/need in your life, or studied your butt off and managed to earn a passing grade, you can begin to see that situations aren't always as hopeless as they initially seem.

Self-confidence doesn't develop overnight. It's something your friend will have to work at for a long, long time, and unfortunately, there is only so much you can do. Ultimately, she'll need to put in the effort to see her world differently, and to truly accept that she is everything you say she is. As her friend, you can gently challenge some of her negative thoughts without completely invalidating her feelings. For example, if she says you're her only friend, you can say, "I'm so sorry you feel that way. What about [name of another friend], how do you feel about them?" Gradually, your friend may begin to realize that she has more support than she thinks she does, but you'll also be acknowledging how she feels at the time.

You can also encourage her to take steps to improve her situation. For example, if your friend thinks you're her only friend, then she won't bother to spend any time with her other friends. Over time, those friendships may become strained, which will only solidify your friend's belief that you're her only friend. If you can challenge your friend to do something different, though, then she may realize she needs to be proactive in challenging her negative thoughts, and that she needs to take action if she wants her situation to improve. If your friend tends to isolate herself, then you could ask her to join you and a couple of her friends on the weekend. By surrounding her with loving people and showing her what she's missing out on, you may be able to "shock" her out of her pattern of thinking. It may not be permanent, but if you can continue to show her that there are other ways of thinking about herself/the world around her, she may gradually begin to see things differently.

Finally, if your friend states that she wants to hurt herself, don't be afraid to reach out to a trusted adult for support! School counselors and mental health professionals can assist your friend if she begins to contemplate self-harm or suicide. We also have some great resources on TeenHelp, so you may want to direct her to this website for additional support! =)

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Re: my friend feels alone - November 26th 2013, 07:17 PM

Thank you so much, i will definitely be using your advice in the future. Also she is 16.

Last edited by Alicia124; November 26th 2013 at 07:18 PM. Reason: forgot to add something
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