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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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afraid of loosing her - November 29th 2013, 07:20 AM

So my friend from camp has known me since I was about 13 years old and she is four years older than me. She has always been there for me. Even though we don't live close to each other we would talk on myspace until it was a rule that I couldn't keep in contact with the councilors. Anyways she knows about my cutting and she has always been really supportive and helpful when it comes to that. Lately I have been texting her like 3 times a week because I want to cut. I try other things before i contact her like drawing and walking but they don't seem to work the only thing that seems to work is talking to her. But I am so fucking afraid that she is going to get sick and tired of me one day like everyone else and just stop talking to me or tell me to leave her the fuck alone. I just won't be able to deal with it she is literally one of three friends I still have.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Last edited by Chris; November 29th 2013 at 07:22 AM. Reason: Added: Non-PG13 (Strong Language) title
   
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Re: afraid of loosing her - November 29th 2013, 11:24 PM

Maybe one thing you can do is talk to your friend and let her know what your worries are? You can let her know that you're not trying to force her to stay with you, but this is a fear that you have. Maybe you can tell her that she can come to you, just like you go to her, and if anything ever becomes too stressful or she's just not in a good enough place to be supportive that day, she can tell you rather than forcing herself to talk.

At least that way she knows everything is mutual and she may be able to offer reassurance.


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Re: afraid of loosing her - December 1st 2013, 05:44 PM

I've already told her my fears and she always says thats never going to happen because as far as she is concerned I am apart of her family. Besides shes older than me so it's just weird for her to come to me so that's off the table.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
|PM/VM|


   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: afraid of loosing her - December 1st 2013, 06:00 PM

At this point, you're 22 and she's 26... so having a friendship with each other doesn't seem very odd to me. =)

Burnout is definitely something you have to be mindful of when you're relying on other people for support. Granted, this person may be more than willing to support you multiple times per week... but even if that's the case, what will you do if she's preoccupied and can't support you at a moment's notice? She may have other obligations that will keep her away from you, even if she wants to help.

My advice is to seek out other people you can turn to, and alternate between those people, so your friend can have a break every now and then. There are also a LOT of alternatives to self harm that you might not have tried yet - here's TeenHelp's list of them! Don't dismiss this list too quickly by saying "I've tried everything," because you probably haven't, and you never know which one will end up working for you!






   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Re: afraid of loosing her - December 2nd 2013, 07:40 AM

The list don't work I have an obsessive personality so when ever I get something on my mind like cutting it usually doesn't go away until I cut. The only time I don't end up cutting is when I talk to my friend because she calms me down and I hate to disappoint her.

I've run into the problem of me texting her and not getting a reply so I tried alternatives for two hours but ended up cutting because I couldn't turn the thought off. Then my friend felt guilty because she was busy but I nipped that in the but right away. I have one other friend but she is in a different time zone so it's kind of hard.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
|PM/VM|


   
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