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Exclamation My Mom Violated me, what am I supposed to do? - December 3rd 2013, 08:03 PM

My mother has anxiety-triggered depression. The week before thanksgiving we got in a fight that ended when she pulled my legs out from under me n the stairs, slapped me and started punching and kicking me. It was really bad and i had bruises for a week. The day before Thanksgiving both she and I had a doctor's Appt. she was on the phone when I went in so I finally go to go to the doctor by myself. The doc has been treating my mom for years and she talked with me about my family and feelings toward them. Anyway, I didn't tell her about the fight my other and I had had and she didn't seem to notice my bruises so I thought I was home free. My mother though, it appears did tell the doctor about our little encounter. It was my fault...I was asking to be hit really I was. I was pressing buttons and saying things that you really shouldn't say to parents. Anyway, the doctor was going to put my mom in a hospital right then and there for multiple reasons but my mother refused.
Now, my mom has been acting really sorry about hitting me and I have said I forgive her about 40 times now. Although, in all honesty I don't trust her or respect her very much now. I accidentally left my journal in the living room last night when I fell asleep on the couch. I have all sorts of personal information and thoughts in that journal and I like to keep it that way. I had also written about 10 pages abut my doctor's Appt. including a full transcript of the PRIVATE discussion I had with MY doctor! My mom, seeing the book on the table, thought it was an invitation to read it. She proceeded to read the whole doctor section and about a sex dream I had had that was highly embarrassing. She read my private thoughts and then proceeded to DISCUSS them with me and critique my spelling, thoughts, and emotions.She was also apologizing....for beating me. she finds no fault in reading my journal. She said it was a "cry for help". I think it is an invasion of my privacy and that she should apologize for reading things that she know I feel to be private ad personal and off limits to her. I feel so exposed and violated and sad. I can't stop crying and I want to disappear. My mother considers herself my best friend and we have very few secrets. What few secrets I have were in that book...I have nothing that is mine now...and nowhere to hide, no place where I am not judged. I don't know what to do. I want to crawl somewhere and hide forever.

Not all scars show.
Not all wounds heal.
Sometimes you can't see the pain someone feels.

Last edited by NotExactlyCrazy; December 3rd 2013 at 09:15 PM.
   
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Re: My Mom Violated me, what am I supposed to do? - December 4th 2013, 12:08 AM

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the bad behavior that your mother exhibited. We forgive for our own sakes, because we don't want to carry the burden of resentment/anger toward the other person. Unfortunately, it sounds like your mom is still failing to respect your boundaries, and is violating you in a variety of ways (physical as well as emotional).

It must be a frustrating situation for you. It sounds like your mother wants to support you, but at the same time, she's making things worse for you by not respecting your boundaries. Do you think you could tell her everything you just told us, without incurring her wrath? Do you have someone you can call, if she becomes violent toward you again? I know the idea of having your mother hospitalized is a scary one... but if it comes down to that, and a brief hospitalization helps her to become more stable, then isn't it worth reaching out to the proper authorities (ex. Child Protective Services/Department of Child and Family Services) for support?

On a final note, I want to address something you said: "I have nothing that is mine now." Your MIND will always be yours. You may not feel free to write down your thoughts on paper (or on an online blog), but your mother can never control your mind or steal the thoughts from your head, IF you refuse to give her that power over you. You're always welcome to keep us updated on your situation if you feel the need to vent, but don't feel safe writing your thoughts down on paper. Just be sure to clear your browser history so your mother doesn't discover TeenHelp and violate your emotional boundaries again!






   
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