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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Crushes and friendship - December 11th 2013, 03:59 AM

So I've encountered this problem a few times, where I build a pretty solid friendship with an individual, and then they decide that they like me. After I get this vibe I usually mention I have a significant other so they don't feel like it will lead in that direction. However often times they cut off the friendship and its like..... What?? Why? Was the friendship in itself not worthy enough? Because I thought it was brilliant and it meant a good deal to me, but as soon as it cant be romantic it becomes worth nothing to them?

For me personally when I am in the position of the one with unrequited feelings, it doesn't really bother me. Yes, I feel disappointed, but it isn't heartbreaking or anything. So usually I am able to let those feelings go and proceed to enjoy the wonderful friendship we have always had. This is why I am so confused by many other peoples responses. Can someone explain this to me?


"If you touch a spider web anywhere, you set the whole thing trembling. . . . As we move around this world and as we act with kindness, perhaps, or with indifference, or with hostility toward the people we meet, we too are setting the great spider web a-tremble. The life that I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place and time my touch will be felt. Our lives are linked. No person is an island."
   
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Re: Crushes and friendship - December 11th 2013, 04:38 AM

There may be a couple of reasons why this is happening to you. First, many people don't handle rejection very well. A natural response is to avoid the person who rejected them, because it's embarrassing and a painful reminder of their "failure." Second, many people value romantic relationships over friendships during their teenage and young adult years. Both types of connections are important, but if someone is focused on finding a girlfriend or boyfriend, then they may completely lose focus of (what could be) a great friendship. Lastly, I think HOW you meet someone is pretty important. For example, if you have a lot in common and can continue to bond after your "rejection," then there's a better chance the person will remain invested and stick around. If you only have a few things in common, then the other person may find it's easier to break the bond of your friendship, even if you get along well despite those few things you have in common.






   
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