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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Sunshine☮ Offline
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Name: Amber
Age: 29
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"friend" - April 29th 2009, 01:55 AM

Okay, so I have this friend who is going to school here and she's from Hong Kong, we'll call her Jenny. She lived with a host family for awhile in grade 11 but got kicked out so I let her live with me for a year. Then she moved, and moved again, and again. Now she lives on her own and it's we've both just finished our first year of University.

The thing is, I've always helped her in tough times. Like when I let her live with me without even knowing her for very long. And I've always been close with her because we both felt like on of our "friends" is mean to us, etc. I've always tried to be there for her no matter what. She was in engineering in our university but struggled and dropped out because she was failing, and I talked to her a lot about that to try and encourage her to work hard and everything. She switched into a different program and I last heard from her over Spring Break in February.

I've called her inviting her to things, but she never calls me back. I got really frustrated and told my other friend how she's not being very nice by never calling back and isn't putting any effort into our friendship. Then, recently, that same friend told me that she's been talking with Jenny and she's failing school again and having a lot of money issues. I felt concerned, so I called her but she didn't answer and never called me back.

Last night I was at the friend who told me she was in trouble and Jenny phoned. Not me, the friend whose house I was at. And they talked.

I just don't understand why she's not calling me. She was closest with me, and the friend who she's been talking to is one of the people who she thought was being mean to her in highschool. Why isn't she phoning me back? I feel like she used me for my house and uses me when she feels upset, yet doesn't care about me at all.

I'm just really frustrated and I don't know what to do anymore...


formerly know as Dori

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Strider Offline
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Name: Nat
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Re: "friend" - May 1st 2009, 11:52 PM

Hi Amber,

I think that your friend is being awfully rude by not returning your calls. Is it possible that she has tried calling and you haven't been around? Somehow I don't think this is the case, but it would be a good idea to check.

Maybe you could contact Jenny through your mutual friend. If she is still in contact with this other girl, then maybe you can get her to ask Jenny what's wrong and why she's not answering any of your messages.

I could understand if she was really busy and just couldn't get around to phoning, but right now I don't think Jenny is being nice. Give it a few more tries to get in touch, but if it doesn't work, then I think you should drop the friendship. Don't help her out anymore either. She isn't your responsibility.

Take care.

Nat.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Sunshine☮ Offline
run til the sun burns out
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Name: Amber
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 73
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: "friend" - May 2nd 2009, 02:56 PM

I'll give that a try, and if she still doesn't contact me I guess I'll have to say goodbye to that frienship. People can use me really well though, I'm very sensitive and caring. I feel like if she says sorry I'll just go back to her even though she's done things like this a lot, such as always cancelling on me and stuff. I doubt she's tried to contact me because I have an answering machine and a voicemail so... yeah.

Thank you so much Nat! :)


formerly know as Dori

most of the shadows of this life are caused
by our standing in our own
sunshine

  Send a message via MSN to Sunshine☮  
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