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Complete Love. Offline
Life goes on...
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I don't belong - December 26th 2013, 12:03 AM

It's christmas. My family is all together in the living room playing games. What's wrong with me. I'm sitting outside alone. Its 36 degrees outside. Im in complete denial that im freezing my butt off. Im convinced its really not that cold. its better to be out here than inside. I'm on Christmas break and am currently in a treatment facility recovering from an eating disorder. I come home and my sister is anorexic. What the fuck is going on?!!! Is this my fault?
I'm 5 months cut free [Edited]
I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. They all must thing I'm a rotten piece of failure. I hate myself. I hate myself so much!!! It's all my fault. I deserve bad things to happen to me. I want to go jump in a dumpster and trash myself. I don't think I'm worth being recycled.
I don't belong anywhere.

"If I could just unzip my skin, step out of this body, then I would see who I really am. -Wintergirls


Last edited by PSY; December 28th 2013 at 05:48 PM. Reason: Changed prefix and removed triggering content in post.
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Konohana Sakuya Offline
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Re: I don't belong - December 26th 2013, 12:43 PM

Hello! Good day to you!

First of all, I am really sorry to hear that. I truly am Being rejected by your family and sexually abused by one of the members is difficult and devastating. I can understand how you deny your own feelings even if it's freezing outside. It's painful.

I am sorry for not being able to give you a good advice aside from seeking a help from your trusted friend, a trusted adult, or an expert. However, I can provide a listening ear for you. I can be your friend and shoulder to cry on. You can always talk to me. Please, please don't think yourself as a worthless trash. You are given this life to live because you are worthy of this beautiful present. You are strong, and beautiful. You are good enough

Feel free to PM or VM me if you want to let it all out. Oh, before I forget, since I assume we live far away enough, I can't physically hug you, so here's a free virtual hug for you instead

Stay strong and safe <3


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Chris Offline
Outside, huh?
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Re: I don't belong - December 27th 2013, 12:45 AM

Hey, there.

I'm really sorry to hear about how your holidays were. You know, I've had some pretty brutal holidays where I've isolated myself and avoiding my family, and even spent the whole night crying for stupid things. In the end, I found that actually being around my family was the best thing for me.

I wish I could solve all your issues, make you feel better about things at home and about yourself, but unfortunately I can't. No one can. But there is one person on the whole wide world who can begin to take steps towards their goals (i.e., to solve issues, for recovery, etc), and that's you. You see, we (as humans) all deal with and have issues, problems, and "baggage" that we carry around. It's our responsibility to acknowledge, understand, and solve these issues as they present themselves to us. If we do not do that (or even skip one of those steps) than you will find that things will never improve (in regards to that situation/issue).

For your particular situation, I recommend seeking as much help as possible. Talk to counselors/social workers, tell (verbally or via letter) your family about how you feel, and that you need their support. Build up a huge, healthy, and powerful support system, and then begin to use that to your advantage by tackling goals one by one until you ultimately solve the issue(s). You can do this; You really can.

Stay strong, my friend.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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