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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Friendship Strengthening - January 3rd 2014, 09:50 PM

Hi there,
Basically I have felt lonely and left out in my friendship group lately and it turns out that some of the other members have felt the same. So I was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to what we could do as a group that'd make everyone feel included again. I was thinking along the lines of a sports game or something maybe? Something where we all have to be involved and interact.

Any suggestion would be appreciated guys, thanks.



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Re: Friendship Strengthening - January 4th 2014, 08:25 AM

While it's great that you want to plan "bonding" activities for your group of friends, I think the underlying issue is a lack of communication about feeling excluded. Since you're aware of other friends who also feel excluded, why don't you address the issue as a group with the friends that you feel are (intentionally or unintentionally) excluding you and certain members of the group? Chris wrote a great article on effective communication, so if you're not sure how to start that conversation, I encourage you to read over the article and get some ideas! =)






   
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Re: Friendship Strengthening - January 4th 2014, 10:30 AM

Hi, there!

I think Robin hit the nail right on the head. You have to dig deep to find the root of the problem, and not spend so much time watering the green grass on top. Roots in relationships (i.e., friendships, family, romantic partners, etc) are always started by communication. If you have poor and/or a lack of communication then the root will stay a root (it won't grow). But if the communication in the relationships are effective, healthy, and seem to be interactive, then you will find that the root will grow into something much better. Of course, this all relates back to how much time and effort you're willing to spend on particular relationships.

The article I wrote (which PSY [Robin] linked too above) will be able to help you understand communication a bit more, and how to contribute positively to relationships - which in turn can create more solid, healthy, and successful friendships.



Best wishes,
Chris


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