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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I have never been this ashamed of my dad - January 6th 2014, 02:12 AM

For the longest time I didn't know what my dad's view on gay marriage and all that was. I have gay cousins and friends so I figured he didn't care. My extended family is also very accepting. Though tonight his true colours showed when he not only used racial slurs against blacks, he screamed about gay marriage being wrong, ruining the country. He yelled about the bible and how it set up how the world is supposed to be. He told me it didn't matter that I wasn't a christian the bible still made the rules. I am so ashamed I wish I weren't even related to this man. I just don't know what to do about it.
   
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Re: I have never been this ashamed of my dad - January 6th 2014, 02:55 AM

Wow, that's really awful what he said. None of what he said was true. The Bible can be interpreted in so many different ways, so remember that his interpretation isn't the only one out there.

Confronting him and trying to get him to change his opinions may not help much, though. Instead it may just cause arguments, so even though it sucks, it may be best to drop the topic for now, because it doesn't seem as if you will be safe if you share your views right now.

Remember how your other family is, how they are really accepting. THEY'RE the people whose opinions matter and they're the ones you may be able to turn to for support on this.

I actually read something on Tumblr the other day that rung true. It's about someone who went to church. The Pastor said that according to a few passages in the bible, homosexuality is a sin. But, the Pastor went on to say "You know what else is a sin? Divorce. There are countless passages that talk about how divorce is wrong, and that there are consequences to getting a divorce, such as the wife should be stoned. Yet, I witnessed a divorce just this morning. And I gotta tell you, it was heartbreaking, but I definitely didn't attempt to throw rocks at the wife, even though she was the one to file for divorce. We choose to overlook the consequences of divorce because time has proven they're inhumane and cruel. The Bible doesn't say anything about the consequences of a homosexual lifestyle. Yet, we seem to be spearheading a campaign to ruin the lives of people we don't know. The bible states to love thy neighbor. That's it. There are no other rules or restrictions to that passage. So, we as a church family have to support equality with a smile on our face. THAT is the Christian way." That's basically what the Tumblr post said.

I shared that with you to show you that not everyone shares the same views as your father and that not even every Christian will agree with what your father said.

This may be just how he was brought up believing, or how he started to interpret things. It doesn't necessarily make him a bad person, but all in all he really should watch who he says things to.


   
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Re: I have never been this ashamed of my dad - January 6th 2014, 04:29 AM

Hey, there.

I'm really sorry to hear about the recent negative situation your father has caused. I think Dez gave some pretty good advice. I'm Catholic myself (to which I have read the bible twice), and it can most certainly be understood, portrayed, interpreted, and presented in so many different ways. Some people read the "letter of the law", while others (like myself) read "the spirit of the law".

Nonetheless, one thing I have learned is it's extremely difficult to try to change someones opinion on something (especially when they aren't even willing to listen). So as Dez said, your best bet does not lay on trying to talk or communicate with him with the goal of persuading him to change his views/beliefs. Just understand that everyone has their own views and beliefs, and the only thing you can do is accept that, and then find out what your own views and beliefs are and stand tall with them.

Thankfully you have accepting friends, and an extended family that share similar beliefs and views on particular subjects (i.e., accepting of all rights no matter the circumstance).

Keep your head up, my friend and continue to stay true to yourself.


Best wishes,
Chris


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I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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