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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Beautiful_Mess Offline
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Angry My sister hates me? - January 9th 2014, 09:17 AM

Me and my sister have never been close, EVER. I've alwayz wanted to be close with her, but what my family is telling me is that she's jealous of me?
Why would she be jealous? She's older, she's pretty, and she's smart.
A few years ago, my sister took me to walmart with her(She wanted to interduce me to her friends) She took me around the store showing me off to everyone pretty much, but every time she interduce me to a friend, they'd say to my sister,"You kno she's gonna be prettier than you when she gets older"
Every time my sister heard that she'd get pissed. So after that, she stopped taking me ANYWHERE with her. All I've ever wanted was to have a GOOD sister and to be close with her. We moved about 3 years ago, and about the total of times I've even talked to my sister is about maybe 20 times in 3 years.
And the ONLY time we talk is when she wants to brag, bitch, moan, groan and or complain. She ALWAYZ wants to talk about her. She NEVER takes the time to ask how I am. And she recently forgot my birthday, she called and wished everyone happy birthdays when it was their (my familys) birthdays, but she didn't wish me one. Why does she hate me so much? What could i have done to make her hate me so goddamn bad.? I pretty much hate her for hating me for no good reason. I've alwayz stood up for her or helped her when she needed help. I may be younger, but most of the time I'm more mature than her. Which is pretty pitiful, seriously. I'm so sick of being treated like no one loves me anymore. It's gets pretty old!
Can someone please explain to me, on why I'm hated so much by my sister?
And what could be her issue.???? I need to know, so I kno how I can approach her. This lil feud between me and her needs to end! SOON!
Alright, thank you to all who reads this, IF anyone reads this.
And I'm not sure if this is the right place for this to be, if not feel free to move it where it's better off to be. THANX, Beth







Waiting is a sign of true love and patience,anyone can say "I love you" But not everyone can wait and prove it's true.

Some say it's painful to wait for someone,Some say it's painful to forget someone,But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget.

Last edited by Chris; January 9th 2014 at 09:56 AM. Reason: Moved to Friend and Family forum.
   
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Re: My sister hates me? - January 9th 2014, 12:29 PM

I'm not saying I justify her actions, but can you imagine how much being told your little sister is going to be prettier than you must have hurt her by her own "friends"? That must have killed her. And there might be a lot of other things that happened that would have made her resentful towards you specifically.

I used to hate-love my younger brother. I would have kicked anyones butt who hurt him, but he was the "perfect little favourite" in my parents eyes as far as I was concerned. He got more of their time and attention. I hated that my friends always asked me about how this and that in his life was doing ALL THE TIME, like why couldn't they just stop asking, I got sick of acting like I thought what ever it was had any meaning to me (I hated his sport as a result to cause my parents could be bothered to care about it but barely seemed to bat an eye over what ever it was I choose to do).....

Now, that's all ancient history in my family now, me and my brother are pretty close nowadays, and, realistically, it's not like my parents didn't care about me either, but my point is more that it never seems hard to feel resentful to a sibling because you feel like you are constantly compared to them (and seen lesser) or left in their dust (even if you're really not, your just different, like I couldn't help that my brother being at a competitive level in his sport put him in a more public spot light where things like skiing and running didn't for myself) and I can understand where those feelings come from. It doesn't always result in completely austricizing your sibling, but feelings like that can be hard to shake.

Your best bet would not to be to hold it against your sister for being jealous or resentful, her feelings are valid to her and that's all that matters. Acting like it's for "no good reason" isn't going to engratiate her to you, and if you want your relationship with her to be more positive blaming her isn't going to help. I'm not saying you will, I'm just telling you now that it won't get anywhere (even though I think that she seems to be taking the sibling rivalry to a whole other level by barely speaking to you but that's beside the fact).

All you can really do in a situation like this is to start trying to open communication more.

Try sending her a text (she doesn't live at home any more by the sounds of it right) and asking her how she's doing.

Or like a few things and make a few positive comments on her posts and pictures on facebook (that way she sees you're making an effort to see what she's up too)

Or you can try sending her a funny or thoughtful email (like one of those ones you forward to people)

You can even make a joke about how "so we hardly talk these days, you could have moved to Peru and I would never have known, how's things going in your life", that way she'll be aware that your thinking of her without feeling like your accusing her (which is probably how she'd feel if you said "you hardly talk to me these days", cause then she'd probably see it as you telling her it's HER fault as opposed it it being WE barely talk, know what I mean)

If she does live at home you can always do little things like telling her your making tea and asking if she'd like a cup too or if your going to watch a movie ask her if she wants to watch it too and see what she'd prefer to see.
If you start small it'll help a lot. She might not respond warmly if she's as resentful as you describe, but given time she's more likely to warm up more (if she doesn't you might want to revisit trying to get to the bottom of WHY she's feeling that way)




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: My sister hates me? - January 9th 2014, 08:33 PM

Alright thank you.







Waiting is a sign of true love and patience,anyone can say "I love you" But not everyone can wait and prove it's true.

Some say it's painful to wait for someone,Some say it's painful to forget someone,But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget.
   
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