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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Spiderpig Offline
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Sadness - January 14th 2014, 01:08 PM

I've not long been adopted, but it's been long enough to really get to know my new family. I have a couple of sweet brothers, also adopted and they're always willing to help whenever I need a strong pair of hands. But there was one person who really got on my pip. I called Aunt Flappy Pig. She was a real drama queen, never listened to anyone or took time to listen to me. She was always harping on never seemingly satisfied even though she had everything money could buy.

During Christmas our Christmas tree decided to face-palm, spectacularly crashing to the floor during which Flappy Pig got into a froth. After we hauled its 14ft mass back up and held it, I drilled two holes, rawlplugged them and fixed a pair of stainless steel stout eye hooks into the old wood wall panelling. She went crazy saying English Heritage would not tolerate our house, being Grade 2 listed, having drill holes put in and demanded I filled them in. Biting my lip trying to control my wrath, I ignored her. Finished after securing the tree trunk to wire I ran off to get out of Flappy Pig's way. I locked myself in to my bedroom only to hear her rattling the doorknob and shouting. I drowned her out with Beethoven's Fifth.

However, after Christmas Aunt Flappy Pig declared she was going to live in Monaco, expat. Me? I was so pleased that I did a little dance. Asp Tongue gone, the family's harmony returned. Bliss. Then Jilly, one of the older girls, told me she was going out to Monaco. My heart sank.

During my breakdown, Jilly had nursed me. She let me cry, sobbing and often she cried along with me. She was a brilliant NASA scientist, gifted. She had a photographic memory, taught me mind mapping, self-reliance, taught me astronomy and being gay like me, how fluid sexuality really could be. Jilly was there whenever I needed her. She used to sleep in with me when I woke often, screaming from a nightmare. She tended to my self-inflicted cuts without flinching. Jilly was my world and now she is gone and I am heartbroken.

Of all the people I had ever loved, not saying that I am ungrateful for all my family have given, but I am in love with Jilly. But now she's gone to live with my horrible aunt. I don't know how I am going to cope, but somehow I'm going to have to find a way. Life, sometimes my friends, just isn't fair.



   
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Re: Sadness - January 14th 2014, 03:44 PM

I'm really sorry that this happened to you Alex. Have you considered talking to Jilly about how you feel for her? If you haven't it may be a good idea to because communication is very important. I would suggest seeing if you could go be with her but as you're not on good terms with your aunt and she's living with this girl you really love, that wouldn't be possible. It doesn't hurt to explain to her how deeply you feel for her, it's always better to tell others how we're feeling rather than to let them go and never say a word otherwise we're stuck with the "What if?" because we chose not to say anything. Talking to Jilly may not bring her back to you, but it doesn't ever mean that you can't try.


Life is for living, not for losing.
   
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Re: Sadness - January 14th 2014, 03:55 PM

I haven't actually plucked up the courage to tell Jilly, but if I called urgently asking her to come home for me, she would do that. Jilly always said if I was ever in need, she would'nt hesitate to come.

Can't explain why I'm sat here crying. So many feelings churning inside right now, so think I'll call her soon.

Thank you Sarah for your help.



   
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Re: Sadness - January 14th 2014, 04:53 PM

Hi there, Alex.

I'm sorry to hear about your recent situation. I can't say that I can relate to your situation, but I can certainly understand and sympathize with it. Unfortunately you're right: "life isn't always fair" is very true statement that relates to everyone, from every walks of life, every age group, every sexual orientation, etc. But even with knowing that 'life isn't always fair', we should still try, and we should still have hope.

I think Sarah hit the nail right on the head: communicate your feelings with Jilly. Tell her what you think about the situation, what she means to you, etc. While it might not "bring her back", you will be able to atleast vent and make her aware of your position in all this.

I truly hope that you will be able to communicate with her effectively, and move on from this unfortunate situation in a healthy manor.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Sadness - January 14th 2014, 06:06 PM

I am very grateful to Sarah for her advice and encouragement and, I wish to thank you for yours.

Since I logged out I phoned Jilly and although I felt nervous, told her my feelings. Jilly reciprocated the same, saying she had already guessed my feelings for her, but because of the state of my health, held back. She wanted me to make the first move.

I don't know what my Aunt feels, but Jilly was only on platonic terms with her. Still, "Flappy Pig" I expect made a big deal of Jilly leaving though I wasn't told anything. Jilly is on her way home tonight. So life is fair after all, at least in times when one least expects.

I'm so happy! But Jilly and I are going to take our relationship slowly, nurture it, and to take each day at a time.



   
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Re: Sadness - January 14th 2014, 10:27 PM

Hey there!

I'm really glad that things have turned in your favor and you're granted the opportunity to explore a relationship with Jilly! Sometimes things fall right into place!

Since the original issue is now resolved, I will close the thread. If you want the thread re-opened, you can feel free to contact me or Robin (PSY).

I wish you and Jilly all the best!


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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