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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Volfan140 Offline
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Ask fm. - January 15th 2014, 10:11 PM

So I have a best friend I've had for about 2 years. One night we went to the movies together and we ended up liking eachother. I really liked her, but the next day she told she moved on to someone else, and that we were meant to be bestfriends. I was mad and I went to her ask fm and said some stuff I shouldn't of said to her. I said it out of anger. So she tells me she has a way to track ananymous questions, and she was going to find out who said. Idk if that's true, but I deactivated my account hoping that if it did work it wouldn't show me. I kind of think I should tell. But if deactivating it will not let her allow to see that I asked it, then is like to do that? Can deactivating your account make it so that if it tracks me it won't show my profile? I'm scared that she won't want to be friends with me anymore.
   
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Re: Ask fm. - January 15th 2014, 10:18 PM

I don't think there is a way of finding out who anonymously sends messages on Ask.FM but that might not be true. I guess deactivating your account should have deleted your messages.

I think the important thing to focus on here is that you said a few nasty things to your friend. It might be a good idea to come clean with her now before she finds out another way. Atleast with your honesty she might forgive you. But I must state that you're only 13 (so I assume she's of similar age). Don't be too caught up in relationships right now, and don't be too upset that she's into someone else. At your age, you're not meant to be in relationships, especially serious ones. Just enjoy yourself.
   
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Re: Ask fm. - January 16th 2014, 02:08 AM

My messages haven't been deleted I've checked. So I'm scared that that thing she uses to track the user will actually work. I've googled it and lots of people say it does work. I said that its offensive not to be dated by her, because she's dated almost every guy on the planet. And I wish I never said that
   
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Re: Ask fm. - January 16th 2014, 08:48 AM

In that case I get all you can do is be prepared to apologise to her, or tell her the truth now. You said it to her, at the end of the day, so you need to know that there will be consequences for your actions. She probably will get mad and upset with you because you did say nasty things to her, but just try and be as sorry as you can and she might forgive you.
   
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Re: Ask fm. - January 16th 2014, 12:10 PM

First of all, you went to the movies and you "liked each other". I find this hard to believe. At most there may have been some chemistry, however, I doubt that you friend fell in love with you and then just the next day fell out of love again.

What you said sounds really entitled, no offense, but it does.

As someone who has been in your friend's position before, I can offer some perspective on her side of things.

Feelings aren't a switch you can click on to make yourself fall in love with the people you want. If she doesn't have feelings for you then she doesn't and she can't force herself to like you. She's a human being and like all human beings her feelings are more complex than that. I think she did the right thing and was a good friend to you by being honest with you about not wanting a romantic relationship with you. The only other alternative is that she could have lied but then it would have been very unhappy for both of you in the long run and wouldn't be an honest relationship.

It doesn't matter that "she's dated almost every guy on the planet". Do you honestly feel offended when your other friends date other people? No. This is the same thing. It doesn't matter if she's dated 1 guy or 100, it's her own feelings and she's not obligated to date you if she doesn't have romantic feelings for you. Even if she dated every guy on the planet, she's not some kind of machine whose sole purpose in life is to date guys so they can be happy. If you value her friendship, then you shouldn't be angry that she doesn't want her relationship with you.

You're extremely young. It's normal at your age to like people, of course. However, you really should value the friendship you have with her. I can tell you that me and my friends remember the friends we had when we were your age, and even keep in touch with them. The people we liked or "dated" not so much. When you look back at this time in your life, friendships are what's going to endure and be part of your best memories.

You're approaching this problem from the wrong perspective. Sometimes in life you say or do things that hurt others. What truly makes a difference is whether you're willing to change your ways. You sound like you're more concerned about her not finding out that it was you who said those horrible things, than the fact that you hurt another human being, who also happens to be a friend of yours. You should be more worried about trying to understand why you acted the way you did and change that way of thinking and acting so you won't do the same thing again.

I don't know if she can find out who sent her that message, I don't think so. If that method works then she might. Whether you tell her now or wait for her to find out is your own choice. However, when that happens the most you can do is take responsibility: apologize if you really mean it, understand that she may have a hard time trusting you at least for a while, give her space if she needs it, and learn from what you did. The last part is very important. If all you're getting out of this is that she might get angry, then you're missing the point and you risk hurting her or other people again the next time you don't get your way.
   
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Re: Ask fm. - January 17th 2014, 03:22 AM

I know that I was wrong to be mad at her. She has always been there for me. I do t know whether to apologize or see if it works first. Because I don't care if she likes me or not, I realize that she's my bestfriend and as long as were that then I'll be happy
   
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