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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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hmzarza Offline
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Angry Why does my mom keep taking my stuff? - February 10th 2014, 12:22 PM

Hey everyone. Hope youre all doing great.

So i need some help with my mum. Shes always been pretty strict and a bit bossy, but i really hate it when she takes my things away, for any period of time. She says she does it because she doesn't want my little brother to be distracted from his studies. She takes my Xbox controller away and only gives it on Fridays, which is really annoying to me. Im 19 years old and im treated like a 12 year old. I keep telling my brother to go away and study so she won't say anything, but he doesn't listen or he just tells on me. She just took my ipad too, which she usually doesn't do. I REALLY hate it when she takes my stuff. What Do i do, I've asked my other friends and they say their parents dont treat then like that
   
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Re: Why does my mom keep taking my stuff? - February 10th 2014, 01:32 PM

Hey there, I understand how this could be frustrating; I mean, she's taking your things away because your brother needs to study. While you are 19, you are still living at home and so as long as you choose to live there, your mom makes the rules. You may be able to negotiate some of them, you may not like them all, but they should be followed as a condition of living with her.

I would talk to her about the fact that you feel the rules are unfair, maybe work something out with your mom and brother, for example: you will let him study for a certain amount of time, or between certain hours and then your mom won't have to "take" your stuff away to give him that time. Or your brother will study in a set place (kitchen table, his room, etc) so that he will be separate from you or you will avoid him while he's working and you can do what you want without distracting him.


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Re: Why does my mom keep taking my stuff? - February 18th 2014, 06:38 AM

Hey there.

I have been on both ends of this situation. At one point, I couldn't do anything without my parents knowing about it. And, at another point, my parents couldn't care less about what I did. Your situation is difficult, but it does contain some sense. I'm guessing that you and your brother share things (i.e., you let him use your xbox, ipad, etc), so she is taking those things away to aid your brother in the mission of becoming a better student. I think we can all agree that is fair. However she fails to realize the impact that this is having on you. As you said, you're 19, and do deserve freedom.

Your best bet in this situation is to sit down and talk to her. Notice the very important word: talk. Don't yell, scream, get upset, or anything similar. Your goal is to calmly express your feelings, provide some evidence, and kindly ask for more freedom. You may also want to provide your mother with some ideas about how to keep your brother on tasks. You can tell her to think about making a designated study area, creating a schedule in which your brother does his homework, etc.

This situation will get better over time, but for the time being, try to get back some of your freedom. The only efficient way of doing that is to communicate.


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Chris


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Re: Why does my mom keep taking my stuff? - February 26th 2014, 09:34 AM

You can give suggestion to your mother for an option that keep all the stuffs with you and use only when your brother is not around you. And you can hide all the stuffs rather taking away from you. Try to convince her like to support you which no outsider can do better then you.
   
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Re: Why does my mom keep taking my stuff? - February 27th 2014, 05:28 PM

Thanks very much everyone
   
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