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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Should I tell her, or can I do this on my own? - February 16th 2014, 05:30 AM

Hi guys,

I know I haven't been on the forum for about a month, but I've been crazy busy. Yeah, yeah, we've all heard that excuse before, I know.
So, to cut to the chase, I am 99.9% certain I have Maladaptive Daydreaming, which is a minor mental disorder in which one excessively daydreams their life "away". Sometimes it's hard for me to get out of bed, because I'm imagining some elaborate fantasy and my part in the daydream is to stay in bed. No, nothing dirty. Usually I'll imagine I'm hospitalized for saving the life of one of my enemies, or something like that, and my bullies will visit me to apologize. A lot of times I'll also pace around the house and imagine I'm the only girl in an all-guy prison, and how to deal with it... Yeah, I know, I sound crazy. So if you're still reading by now, I thank you so much.

Usually, I'm fine with a little bit of daydreaming here and there, and I never put much thought into it. I usually imagine I'm hanging out with people at school I barely know, that I want to be good friends with. It gives me a chance to be the person I know I'll never be...a happy, friendly, likable person. I'll make facial expressions, gestures, sometimes even chuckle at the imaginary people.
I tried to stop daydreaming like this once, and every time I started daydreaming I would immediately stop myself. Within a few hours, I had almost stopped daydreaming altogether. Now, bear with me here, as I sound a bit insane...
When I almost stopped daydreaming, I felt like I couldn't "see" the imaginary people anymore. I mean, I can never actually see them, but I was imagining that they were just barely visible, begging me to let them stay.
I have never felt so alone in life like I did when my "imaginary friends" were almost gone. I ended up having an extreme break down, and I just collapsed onto my knees and held my head in my hands and sobbed. That was when I promised myself that I would continue to daydream, because feeling alone like that just scared me so much. I guess I felt just how big the world and life is...you know? So without those imaginary people beside me, I felt like I was taking it on by myself.

A lot of times, it's kinda nice to have that daydreaming ability. It helps me imagine a new story idea, as I love writing and want to be an author. Once I think of a story idea, it helps put me into perspective of the main character, because I imagine the plot and make myself the main character. Feel like I belong in an insane asylum yet?
It's also really comforting to have those "people" there whenever I need them. I usually use them to talk things out with myself and "fix" a problem that's happening in real life. For example, I thought I had the best friend of a lifetime last year. He ended up ditching me, and I didn't even know how to take it. So, I imagined he was still there with me, hanging out like the best buds I thought we really were. All good, right?
Well here's the bad part. Here I am one year later, and I'm still obsessed with my old best friend. What went wrong? Was it him? Was it me?! Why didn't he like being my friend!?!?!! I literally just broke down and cried before I wrote this post, because I'm still sad about my friend.
Another bad thing is that daydreaming is really distracting at times. Like when I'm doing my homework. One minute I was doing my math homework, which I absolutely hate. The next minute, after I put some music on, I imagined some friends were sitting with me and we were laughing and having a grand old time.

I'm not even sure what to think of this. I mean, I love Maladaptive Daydreaming, but at the same time, it can be a huge burden. Is there any way to cope with it when I need to do important stuff, but still have it when I have time to daydream?

And now for the big question...
Is this something I should talk to my mom about? I mean, I have a lot going on nowadays. I feel really stressed, my feelings are completely tangled up, but I can't even talk about what's happening to me because I don't even know!! (By the way, is this just teenage hormones, or just another thing that's wrong with me?)
I feel like talking to a therapist or something might help, but I don't want to admit that I'm crazy enough to talk to someone who doesn't even know me.
Should I talk to my mom about it? Then maybe ask if talking to a therapist would help? I mean, I'm crying because I'm so embarrassed telling this to complete strangers over the internet...I don't know how I could tell my mom.
Is it normal to feel mixed up?
Would my mom help me?
Am I crazy?!
please help.


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
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Hypothesis. Offline
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Re: Should I tell her, or can I do this on my own? - February 16th 2014, 05:53 AM

I think that if this is becoming a burden to you at all, it's a good idea to talk to your mom. I don't think it necessarily means you're crazy at all, just because you're daydreaming, and it doesn't mean that you belong in an asylum! It just may be nice to have an outside source, such as a therapist, who is unbiased help you through all of these things. It may be good to have someone who can help you cope when the daydreams get burdensome or get in the way of you doing important things. I don't know what a therapist will suggest, but unless they think it's harmful, maybe they won't try and make it stop completely, just get more under control.

I think your mom could also be a big support system going through this. She can at least be a listening ear through this, and I don't think she'll think you're crazy either.


   
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