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vampiregirl98 Offline
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Am I wrong? - February 25th 2014, 03:33 PM

~ I've never really expected anything from anyone or wanted them to act in a certain way. I am always there for anyone who needs me, be it my friends or parents. I'm not open about my feelings and keep it all locked up inside. Almost always, my best friend tells me about all her problems and feels upset and I never fail to cheer her up. Just because I smile doesn't mean I don't have any problems but no one seems to notice it. When I feel like my friend is the faintest bit upset, I ask her about it. But when I'm the one who's upset, they just don't even have a clue about it even if I show it out! I feel like everyone around me is either too much wrapped up in their own lives or that I care way too much for everyone. As I said, I've never expected from anyone.. But lately, I feel like no one cares and expect them to be a bit sensitive to my feelings as well. Am I wrong in feeling this way?
~ I'm not the kind of person who gets angry or something. When my friends do something that would hurt me and they tell me about it asking me to forgive them, I'm not the least bit angry with them because I know that they already probably feel guilty and I don't wanna add to that. I understand their feelings. But when I do get angry (very rarely if I've had enough), I just explode-I shout or do something that I usually would not do. Instead of realising that I too get angry, they make me feel guilty for acting "out of character".
   
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Re: Am I wrong? - February 25th 2014, 04:15 PM

Hey there,

I've been in a similar situation to yours many times before. This actually sounds like a post that I would write. So I totally understand how you feel and what you're going through. It sounds like you invest a lot of time into helping your friends with their problems and emotions, so they should be doing the same for you. You shouldn't have to feel alone.

In my case, part of the problem was always my uncomfortableness in talking about my problems or emotions with others. I'd let my friends go on and on about themselves and what they were going through and never attempt to bring up how I was feeling. It was because I never really felt comfortable doing so, and also because I felt that it made me selfish because they had problems of their own and I didn't want to overwhelm them with mine. But over time I've realized that I have just as much a right to talk about my problems as they do, and I deserve support as well. You should know that you're just as important as your friends are, and you shouldn't be afraid or feel uncomfortable to talk about how you're feeling. It's important that you feel comfortable talking to your friends about these things, and if they are the right friends they will always be willing to listen and do what they can to help. Next time that you're hanging out with a friend try to bring up a problem you're having, even if it's just a small one. Try to become more comfortable and accustomed to talking about yourself. The more you do it the easier it becomes.

I definitely agree with you that your friends should be taking notice of your emotions and trying to help you in the way that you help them. But if you've never talked with them about your emotions before they might assume that you wouldn't be interested in talking when you seem upset, or they might not even realize that you're upset because they are unfamiliar with your emotions. If you put all of your focus into their problems and never express yours then they probably don't even realize that you need support. I think that after you start being more open about how you feel with them they will take more notice when you seem upset about something. If they still don't seem to care, though, then you might want to focus on finding some new friends that are willing to support you as much as you support them.

As for your anger, I think that it might have something to do with keeping everything to yourself. Anger is something that builds up, and every time you get even slightly angry about something it just adds to this pile of anger you're carrying around with you. I think that having someone to vent to or a healthy way to express yourself will help you to get rid of some of that anger and will result in fewer outbursts. You need to deal with the things that make you angry before they all add up and cause you to become so upset.

I hope this helped a little, and that you are able to get the support you need from your friends and find a healthy outlet for your emotions. I'm sure that everything will end up working out well for you! If you ever need someone to talk to you're more than welcome to message me


   
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