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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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bitesize Offline
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How do we tell our group of friends we've separated?? - February 26th 2014, 10:12 AM

I know I posted about this a few minutes ago but this is a slightly more specific issue...

So my boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up on Monday. It was a mutual decision and there was no bitterness but it's still very sad and I don't know how we're going to start coping with this.

We have this group of mutual friends that we both kind of fell into a while ago, and that neither of us would consider our closest friends but they're people that we'd see equally and frequently. The things is this group can be a bit childish... whenever there's any scandal or someone kisses someone or bitches about someone there's a lot of drama about it, which we've both always disliked, but avoided. Now that we're not a little united force it's going to be a bit tougher.

But we're both avoiding telling this group we've broken up because we're scared of them reacting in a way that makes drama out of it, which is going to be so much harder on us while we try to deal with this. But obviously we're going to have to come clean to them soon. I just don't really know what to do about it - I can't handle lots of talking-behind-backs and rumours getting exaggerated and generally it just being made a big deal of. :/

Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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Chris Offline
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Re: How do we tell our group of friends we've separated?? - March 2nd 2014, 06:18 AM

Hey there.

You, nor your boyfriend deserve to get a hard time for a mutual break up. There are many options, and many different things you can do. However the best plan of action is to stand together and tell them. If there's even a hint of drama that begins, end it right there. Confront them, tell them that you don't want any issues or drama and you want everyone to let go of it like you have. If they continue, then your best bet is to find a new set of friends. Drama, problems, and gossip are teenage-type things. Not to mention it causes so much unnecessary stress, triggers, urges, and other possible effects.

So stand up for the decisions you've made, make sure they're aware of your rules (i.e., no drama), and if they don't follow them (or respect them), then they aren't that good of friends are they?

Keep your head up, my friend.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
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