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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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hmzarza Offline
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I've lost my friends - February 27th 2014, 05:18 PM

Hey everyone, hope all of you are doing well. SO today i got pretty angry at my friends and i think i lost them. Basically they were suggesting that i be more mature and not to be so dependent on my parents. I tried telling them my problem: my father is very protective. Its in his nature to worry a lot about us. My mom has always kept me submissive all my life so ive never learned to fight back. Im pretty sensitive about this stuff since theres nothing i can do and i hear it from my parents everyday, 'You should be more mature in life'. I got angry and started a heated group convo on whatsapp, because i was sick of everyone telling me this everyday. I know i should try to break free but i suppose i never learned how. I want to change, genuinely. But anyway,they said they told me all this because they want me to improve, but i took it in the negative sense and got mad at them because im so frustrated from it all. I hate myself the most of all people, i hate looking at myself in the mirror, i hate myself for what i put my parents through because im so immature. It broke me and i just said a lot of things i shouldnt have. Im not sure how to feel about it, half of me says i did the right thing, half says i didnt. COuld really use some advice, am very confused
   
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Re: I've lost my friends - February 28th 2014, 07:48 AM

i know what your going through , half of my life my teachers always called me immature and try to behave like an adult , but being an adult or acting like one takes a lot of time right , so its who you want to be ,think one more time, is it still okay that u need to be too dependent of your parents if not so 1st: go very slow with things , being independent is very difficult so do things slowly so that it could be a step towards you being dependent , you dont have to change completely as you said one half of you doesn't want to change so take one step at a time , and i know its going to be little hard but nothing is easy so good luck ! BE STRONG !
   
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Re: I've lost my friends - February 28th 2014, 08:07 AM

Hey! I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time..
1st of all, you would not have lost your friends just because you shouted at them. At least not if they're true friends. Talk to them and tell them that you were angry and hurt that particular day and you really dint mean to shout at them.
As for hating yourself, don't! It's just a phase. Everyone goes through some problem or the other. Respect yourself. Spend time for yourself. Go to the parlour or something. Do something nice. It's sure to make you feel better, trust me. You are beautiful in your own way. God brought you to earth with a purpose.
Also, tell your parents how you really feel. They're not gonna eat you up or anything. Apologise for saying things you actually dint mean. They'll surely understand.
I know it may be tough but just remember that they do love you because if they dint, they would not be telling you to improve. As Sruthi Mohan said, take one step at a time. Tell your friends and parents that you will change but you need sometime.
Hope I helped!
   
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hmzarza Offline
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Re: I've lost my friends - February 28th 2014, 10:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sruthi mohan View Post
i know what your going through , half of my life my teachers always called me immature and try to behave like an adult , but being an adult or acting like one takes a lot of time right , so its who you want to be ,think one more time, is it still okay that u need to be too dependent of your parents if not so 1st: go very slow with things , being independent is very difficult so do things slowly so that it could be a step towards you being dependent , you dont have to change completely as you said one half of you doesn't want to change so take one step at a time , and i know its going to be little hard but nothing is easy so good luck ! BE STRONG !
Thanks very much!

Quote:
Originally Posted by vampiregirl98 View Post
Hey! I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time..
1st of all, you would not have lost your friends just because you shouted at them. At least not if they're true friends. Talk to them and tell them that you were angry and hurt that particular day and you really dint mean to shout at them.
As for hating yourself, don't! It's just a phase. Everyone goes through some problem or the other. Respect yourself. Spend time for yourself. Go to the parlour or something. Do something nice. It's sure to make you feel better, trust me. You are beautiful in your own way. God brought you to earth with a purpose.
Also, tell your parents how you really feel. They're not gonna eat you up or anything. Apologise for saying things you actually dint mean. They'll surely understand.
I know it may be tough but just remember that they do love you because if they dint, they would not be telling you to improve. As Sruthi Mohan said, take one step at a time. Tell your friends and parents that you will change but you need sometime.
Hope I helped!
You did, thanks for your time

Last edited by Chris; March 2nd 2014 at 07:34 AM. Reason: Combined Posts.
   
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Re: I've lost my friends - March 10th 2014, 07:33 AM

Be strong. I want to know on which circumstances and situations all your friends and family are thinking that you are immature. Then I can suggest you further how you can proceed.
   
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Re: I've lost my friends - March 11th 2014, 11:45 PM

I don't think you've necessarily lost them. If they're your true friends, they won't ruin a friendship just because you disagreed with them, unless you've been acting in a hurtful or upsetting way to them (like if your immature includes saying insulting things to them).

I don't know what you mean by being immature. However, being close to your family, unless it's meaning that you're not taking responsibility for your actions and your life, isn't necessarily bad. Being sensitive isn't necessarily bad.

It's important to think about what they said. Be honest with yourself. Are there things that need improvement? Are you hurting anyone? Have you been told you're hurting someone? If not, then just keep being yourself. If yes, then just use this as an opportunity to fix the bad parts and keep the good parts. Being sensitive to an extent can be a good thing, for example.


   
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