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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Kayla
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My brother - March 2nd 2014, 11:40 PM

For like the past year my brother has been dating this girl. I like her but he's given up everything for her. His friends, sports, spending time with me. Everything is all about her. He's graduating high school this year and I know that he's been wanting to move out. I miss him and want to spend time with him because I know that after this year we won't see each other much but she is always around. She never stays at her house anymore and when she does he stays there to. What should I do. I really want to talk to him about it but I don't know how to say it without him getting mad and also how do I avoid saying all of this around her (his girlfriend)


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Re: My brother - March 3rd 2014, 02:21 AM

Hey Kayla,

I'm sorry that you haven't been able to spend much time with your brother lately. When you're used to spending a lot of time with somebody and you're suddenly not able to it can be a really hard thing to adjust to. I don't think that this is something you should take personally, as I'm sure that your brother hasn't been intentionally pushing you away. When you're in a relationship with someone it can take up a lot of your time. The person you're dating becomes a big priority to you and it can be hard to dedicate as much time to your other relationships as you used to. It sounds like your brother is really interested in this girl and it might be hard for him to put as much focus into other things as he used to. But this doesn't mean that he has lost interest in spending time with you or that you're no longer important to him. I think that if you talk to him and let you know how you feel he'll make the effort to spend some more time with you.

When you do talk to him, try not to be accusing. You might not be extremely fond of his girlfriend and you might be hurt that he hasn't been around as much, but try to approach him calmly and just let him know that you miss him and would like it if just the two of you could hang out and do something together sometime soon. If you accuse him of pushing you away or being too preoccupied with his girlfriend then he'll probably just become angry with you and it will drive the two of you further apart. Make sure to give the impression that you miss him and want to spend time with him rather than that you are angry with him. If you want to talk to him while his girlfriend isn't around maybe you could send him a text message sometime letting him know that you'd like a moment to talk with him by yourselves. Hopefully he'll agree to that.

I think you also have to try your best to accept that your brother probably isn't going to be able to hang out as much as he used to. It's similar to having a good friend and not being able to see them as much once they start dating someone. He simply doesn't have as much time on his hands, and while I do think that he should make the effort to spend time with you I also think that you have to try and be understanding that it more than likely won't be as much time as it used to be. It might take awhile to adjust but I am sure that it will end up getting easier. And the times you do get to spend with your brother will be even more special.

I hope this helped a little, and that everything works out well for you. Good luck


   
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