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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Music4lyfe Offline
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Is this illegal at all? - March 7th 2014, 06:18 PM

I decided to put this into Friends and Family because I used to be friends with this person.

There's this guy, he's really into me but I'm really NOT into him. At all. In fact I didn't like him. After tonight, I think it's pretty safe to say I hate him.

This guy is an underage smoker, drinker, he's had sex below the age required by law, so that's there (pretty much sums up the main reasons why I don't like him). So I could already get him in trouble with the police if I wanted to.

He messaged me tonight, at about 2:30am, and I thought nothing of it. I figured it was him and his friend wanting to hang out. I've done that before, I trust(ed) these people. I told him I wasn't interested in hanging out, because y'know, it's a long weekend - my only plans are eating, sleeping and going online And besides, I was going to bed soon. But he kept persisting... And said he'd come to my place so that I didn't have to go anywhere. I told him no (something I've always been good at when it comes to guys wanting things that I don't want. Saying no), but he came anyway. He came into my room for a couple of minutes, and I told him to get out. He had been drinking and was tipsy, and he was smoking as he came in. He offered me a smoke. I said no, and sent him on his way. He said he would 'see me later', in a way more emphasized than usual. I took notice of it and considered it, but thought nothing of it after I had reassured myself.

When he got home, he messaged me. He started begging me to be his girlfriend, which, we've been there before. I usually try to let him down easy, but I was irritated by his lack of respect for my wishes, so I kept telling him straight up, "No." I told him I was going to bed to get rid of him, and I was tired.

As I lay in bed, I felt really uneasy. I kept thinking, 'what if he comes in my room, while I'm sleeping?' I told myself that that was insane, and not even HE was that crazy... ... I think I have a future as a fortune teller.

I eventually fell into an uneasy sleep. I was dreaming something, can't remember what. I suddenly woke up, at 5am. It was still dark. I never go to bed at 3am and wake up before the sun comes up, unless something is wrong. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind, but for some reason I REALLY needed to roll onto my back, rather than my side facing the wall. As I rolled over, the thought hit me. And there he was. I could just see the outline of him in the darkness. Watching me sleep. "Get out." Were my only words, and he turned and walked out of my door.

This is possible, because of the way my house is built. Our house used to be a milk bar, so we have to go outside to get to the bedrooms and bathroom. It's not like a courtyard or anything, but it's outside. We have a back gate, which is pretty easy to open, and it goes straight to my room. My parents, to his luck (not so much mine) were either in the front on their computers, or asleep in the room next to me.

This has GOT to be a breach of some kind of law, right? Trespassing? Stalking? ANYTHING?! Surely I could get a restraining order at least? I'm definitely scarred. It's been over an hour now, and I'm still shaking and on the verge of tears. He was just standing there... Watching me sleep... For who knows how long... And who knows what he could have been doing... In MY house, in MY room, with no one's permission. My paranoia was bad enough, but now it's increased to higher than it has ever been. I feel so violated.

Someone please help me. Thanks in advance.


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Re: Is this illegal at all? - March 7th 2014, 09:18 PM

You need to tell your parents, they will know what to do. I'm sorry to say this but he could have done anything and it sounds dangerous to me. He has no right to be in your room when you do not want him there, I believe it could be trespassing. You may have to go to the police station and talk to an officer, they will know the laws better (hopefully).

I don't feel like this is something you should wait and see about, definitely take immediate action. That's so creepy, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
   
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Re: Is this illegal at all? - March 7th 2014, 10:29 PM

He can probably be charged for trespassing. Definitely tell your parents, and the police. If you can't talk to the police right away, look up laws for your area and see what he could be charged for. Drinking, smoking, trespassing?

That is just... so creepy. I would be so scared if i rolled over and there was a guy watching me sleep.


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Re: Is this illegal at all? - March 8th 2014, 11:09 AM

Thanks guys. I'm usually very VERY scared of things like that, and plus I feel VERY vulnerable when I'm asleep and only sleep around people who I trust. When I simply hear a strange noise at night, I freak out. My friends were telling me that I handled it very well, considering I didn't freak the F out.

In my terror, I MAY have told 10 or 11 people... And 7 or 8 of those people want to kill him for it. Luckily for him, the closest one of those people live three hours away. And that guy, even though he has school and work and cricket matches to deal with, was seriously considering coming out to see me to make me feel safer. Only problem was he left his Myki card at home (he's at his dad's) and he had no money, so he couldn't take any public transportation.
Glad I at least have friends who won't let anything bad happen to me...


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Re: Is this illegal at all? - March 10th 2014, 08:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Music4lyfe View Post
In my terror, I MAY have told 10 or 11 people...
[...]
Glad I at least have friends who won't let anything bad happen to me...
It's great that you have friends who care about your well-being... but have you told your PARENTS? They're the people who would have more power to protect you, since they live with you. I agree with the previous posters: after informing your parents of the situation, contact the police and see if you can file a restraining order against this guy. You may also want to explore options for securing your bedroom, e.g., installing locks on the door(s) and window(s). I don't know what the layout is for the room, but if it's impossible to secure it in that way, then you may want to move into a different room.






   
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Re: Is this illegal at all? - March 11th 2014, 11:32 PM

Please, please, tell an ADULT. It's great that your friends are so supportive, it really is, but definitely seek out an adult. An adult can help you seek out legal help if he does it again or harms you in any way and can do things like making your house safer for you.

This behaviour is extremely worrying. The fact that he's been so pushy is a major red flag for me and if he broke into your house at night that is REALLY BAD. I cannot emphasize how bad it is. Please, PLEASE tell an adult you trust. Explain to them that this guy has been pressuring you about wanting you to date him and what he's done.


   
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