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My Aunty - March 9th 2014, 09:52 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well, my Aunty lives over in Canada and I haven't seen her since I was like 16. She has been having a lot of health problems since she moved over there and she lives miles away from the city, she is in and out of the hospital like a yo-yo. She has had to have feeding tubes in her that she has to feed herself through and she has to clean them and stuff. However, she has been rushed in because her wound got infected and started opening back up. The doctors said the treatment is killing her slowly and the treatment that they were giving her was the only one that could have saved her life. She can't fly over for another six months so I might never get to see her again. I keep in touch with her through Skype, I have always been very close to her and this is breaking my heart. There is nothing more the doctors can do for her. They have got rid of the infection and stitched the wound back up but they said its just going to keep happening.

I feel so depressed because of this, I just want to be able to see her again, even if it was for one last time. However, money is very tight at the moment and the air fair prices in England are bloody ridiculous so I can't afford to fly over and spend time with her.

I feel so useless as I can't help her through this
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Re: My Aunty - March 11th 2014, 11:57 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt. =( My grandfather recently died, and I couldn't afford to fly over to where he lives in order to say good-bye. I only had a couple days' notice, too, so there wasn't much time to prepare myself (even though he had been sick for 2-3 years).

I know you want to see her again, and that you may feel "incomplete" if you don't get to physically be with her one last time; however, I've found that no matter how much time people have with their loved ones, death still catches them "off guard." Definitely make the most of this time by keeping in touch via Skype. If there's anything you've wanted to say to her, now's the time.

I'd like to leave you with one more thought. You said that you're "useless" and that you can't help your aunt through this difficult time in her life. I disagree with those statements. You may not be able to physically heal her, but you can be with her emotionally. You can offer support and reassure her that you're going to be okay. Sometimes, people will hold on to life for longer because they're worried about how their loved ones will cope with their death. One of the best gifts you can give your aunt is the peace of mind that you'll be able to receive support once she's gone. By knowing that you'll seek grief or bereavement counseling/therapy, she can rest easier and enjoy a greater quality of life with what time she has left.

I wish you and your loved ones all the best. My heart goes out to you, and you're welcome to keep in touch as time passes.






   
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Re: My Aunty - March 13th 2014, 04:49 AM

Hey, there.

I'm really sorry to hear about your Aunt. My great grandmother has suffered for many years, and unfortunately due to money as well, I was unable to see her before she passed away. Things may feel and seem hopeless right now and negative emotions may be running through you like a river, but I challenge you to overcome that. Sometimes we can't control the situations or "cards" we are dealt, but in those cases we have to "play the hand" as best as we can. Meaning, take advantage of the time you have left with her, and don't focus so much on the negative (I know, easier said than done). Continue to skype her. Send her things in the mail that you know will brighten up her day. And as Robin has said, continue to provide her with emotional support. All these things may not "fix" the problem of not being able to physically see her, but they will atleast help.

Make the best out of what you have, and continue to do what you're doing. My thoughts are with you and your family through these tough times.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: My Aunty - March 13th 2014, 02:38 PM

Thanks for the advice guys.
We Skype each other every night now. She is 6 or 7 hours behind me and if I have to, I stay up till late just to be able to talk to her. We still laugh and joke about a lot, and I am saving up to go and see her and even my dad said he would help me with the air fare if I needed the help. Its his sister, so he probably would fly over with me as well. She is my world, when she lived over here I was never away from their house, slept over every weekend, would go round for parties and stuff and I am close to both my cousins as well. I am hoping she will get better though, although the doctors said I would be asking for a miracle. I can hope at least, and stay positive that she could actually fight this and pull through.
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